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Do you think it's strange,when you get married and you don't go by your husbands last name?

That's what my sister in law has done.She goes by her maiden name instead of my brothers last name,I think it's kinda disrespectful.


Asked by Anonymous at 11:27 AM on Aug. 2, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I guess I automatically assume that she's a professional woman that has built a successful career or a woman that has been married several times and doesn't want to go through the hassle of changing her name (esp if she's over 45ish).
    I don't think it's strange at all.

    Answer by nwdeserangel at 11:46 AM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • No I don't think it's strange. I went by my name. He doesn't change his name to her's so why should she change her's to his (unless she wants to)? She's still herself. Her name is who she is as a person. Nothing wrong with that.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:30 AM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • I dont think it is disrespectful. I kept my name then when we had a child I just hyfinated it. ( Aybar-Hickson), she is her own person and besides who wants to change social security , pass ports and all that. To each his own.

    Answer by Yve538 at 11:35 AM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • My SIL did the same thing and I don't like it either. When I mail her birthday cards I put her as Mrs. ----- my brother's last name and I don't care. I believe in taking the husband's name. Your kids do so why doesn't the wife.

    Answer by sweetmom1007 at 11:36 AM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • She's a up to date kind of person,modernized,I think she likes to be different and she is getting alot of attention from it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 AM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • I think there is nothing wrong with it at all. To each their own. I will be changing my last name to my fiancé's name when we marry in October. I've had my deceased husband's last name for the past 33 years and I think it's time for a change.

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 11:37 AM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • They don't have kids and they don't want them,so I guess that's one last thing for them to worry about--sweetmom1007,thanks for your in put!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:39 AM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • Maybe for some reason she doesn't like my brothers last name,it's not like a Smith's or a Robinson's or some catchy popular name.I think with the above post to be called hickson sounds,hicky or being a hick and I think in that situation it's o.k. to change it.I've seen alot worst last names than that though and still the wife takes it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 AM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • I could see if you were a professional--ie: physician, news anchor/reporter, politician, or local celebrity type and not changing your name (at least hyphenating it), but for the AVERAGE woman, If you have a traditional marriage ceremony, in a house of worship, I think it IS disrespectful, as the point of a religious marriage is "two people, becoming one."

    My VERY Catholic feminist, liberal SIL, has been married for 14 years--she has two daughters--ages 4 and 6 weeks. She has neither changed nor hyphenated her name, or done so with their daughters, who legally go by her husbands name. She is, and has ALWAYS been a housewife or SAHM! So much for not letting "the man" keep you in your place!!! LOL

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:45 AM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • I don't think it's weird or disrespectful. I know plenty of women that have kept their own last names after getting married.
    It's not the 20's anymore.

    Also, I'd say it's pretty disrespectful to purposely address cards to your SIL with her husband's last name when you KNOW that she uses her own last name. Not only that but it's disrespectful to your brother because that's his wife. It's just rude.
    Just because YOU don't agree with it doesn't mean you are right.
    What kind of example does that set for your kids?
    Intolerance is a major problem today and you're just adding to it.


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:46 AM on Aug. 2, 2009