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How do I support him...I really want to this time and not run away like I do all the other times? PLEASE HELP ME.

My SO is an alcoholic and I usually deal with it by fighting with him or leaving him cause I feel unloved when he drinks because of the things that he says to me and because he shuts me and my son (not his son) out for days. He was getting better and only doing it once or twice but today will be the 5th day that he has drank. He did let me know yesterday and I tried to be understanding and go on with my day but he kept accusing me of not loving him and that I was going to cheat. I called him today and he was sober when I talked to him but he said he was unsure if he was going to drink and asked him not to but I have no control over what he chooses. Afterwards I sent him a pic of me and told him that I hope it helps him get through the day or to at least laugh and to stay strong. I dont know what else to do...it makes me upset but I dont want to fight anymore, it doesnt help when he is drunk because he gets mean.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:04 PM on Aug. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Mmm.... I would've ran away and STAYED away.
    K_Sawyer

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 2:09 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • You need to leave ASAP, you have a Son that doesn't need to be exposed to that especially if it's not his Dad.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:18 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • I personally would've considered to go to counsoling with him and if that didnt work for my child's sake and my own I would run away and stay away. But if/or when he got better I would defintally go back to him as long as I knew he was clean for good.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:21 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • He needs help like rehab, u cant live like that. Alcoholics are unpredictable u never know what may happen
    kirsty_mcgrail

    Answer by kirsty_mcgrail at 2:21 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • my husband is an alcoholic and i to am an alcoholic but unlike my husband i have been sober for twenty years i feel that a person never fully recovers from this horrible desiese.there is a drug called naltrexone that in clinical trials decreased the erge to drink if he is willing have him talk to his DR also it has been clinicly proven that the kudzu plant helps they have a pill at most health food stores made from kudzu extract it has helped to curb my need for twenty years.as for your child you should not expose him to the mean or violent person he will be the one that is scared until this man decides to get clean im afraid you are wasting your time
    cams-granny

    Answer by cams-granny at 2:48 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • Counseling won't help an alcoholic, nor can you stop him from being an alcoholic. AA MIGHT help him, provided HE wants it. He has a disease and without treatment, he won't get better. Don't enable him by staying. You can't make him better. Only he, armed with the right tools and techniques, can make himelf better. Even then, it will be a struggle for him. I think it is as bad as you yourself being an alcoholic to expose your son to this.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:10 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • you can find another boyfriend who wont treat you bad.
    danichaos

    Answer by danichaos at 3:33 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • does he live w/u ? if not, then let him go...if he's not contributing to your household, then he's not trying to be a family anyway.
    ranedare

    Answer by ranedare at 5:29 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

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