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What Should I Do Next?

My former fiance and I are taking a break from our relationship because he said he wanted to be single for right now. We were living together raising our three month old son for a month before we broke up. He said that he felt that we were stressed out with each other, and that he thought some time apart would do us good. He has told me that he is still in love with me, thinks it 's possible that we will get back together, has told me that he misses me, and wants to see how things will go if we start out as friends first, then work on dating, etc. What I am wondering is, do you think it is possible for two people who are still in love with each other and have a child to be "just friends"?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:27 PM on Aug. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • He said that he thought that our relationship, when we were living together, and engaged, was going downhill, because we fought all the time...and I have to agree. We did fight...and I think the fact that we were in such close proximity to each other all the time didn't help. Us living together was the first time that either one of us had lived on our own away from parents. It feels weird for me being "just friends" with him, because when we have been together since we broke up, we seem to slip right back in to acting like we are in a relationship with each other, without the affectionate part of it. He says he still wants to kiss me, and otherwise be affectionate with me, but that it feels awkward. I miss him, love him, and want him back, but I don't know how I can go about doing it other than giving him space...does anyone have any other suggestions?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:28 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • You fall back into it because you love him...he is just telling you some excuse so he can mess around and be with you at the same time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:30 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • Even though he has a child?....why wouldn't he just break up with me and leave me alone for good? He said he wasn't going to date...should I believe him?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:32 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • it can be possible to be just friends but it wont be like how it would typically be. You have a child together, recently, you two are in love, so things are going to move pretty quick.

    What I have to suggest is you sit down and talk to him and ask him why he's so stressed, because chances are his reason for wanting a break is because he's not used to being a new father and all of the responsibilities that come with that. Just reassure him that you think he's doing his father role just fine.

    II personally think that the break is pointless, and he needs to be home to work on this stress issue, because if he's not dealing with the problem he is oviously running away from it. If my fiance did that I'd tell him if he leaves he stays gone. PERIOD. basically if he doesnt come back asap w/e was going on before will happen again bevcause he didnt stay and deal with it, he ran off and put it on pause.
    Dom123123

    Answer by Dom123123 at 3:36 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • Yes...even though he has a child. Why else would he want to be "single"? People take breaks all the time but they dont break up with eachother unless its one of those "I want to see experience before I commit" breaks and usually they dont come back but only for a piece of a*s.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:39 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • do not let him have his cake and eat it to,this happened to me I kept sleeping with him and thinking we were working on theings a few mths later I find out that he has another girlfriend and she is pregnant I finanly broke things off completely and he married her. If he wants to be single let him be single but tell him you cannot continue to keep acting like your in a relatioship by being affectionate,guys like a chase so let him chase you if he wants you,sorry ive learned for me its all or nothing I know its hard when you still love him,sorry
    jendramis

    Answer by jendramis at 4:02 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • Have you read 'He's Just Not That Into You'?

    There's also 'It's Called a Break Up Because It's Broken'...

    Get on with your life and don't stand around waiting for anyone else to do anything 'first' --if you're okay with him sleeping around, tell him that's the case. If you're not, you need to find your bottom line: are you okay with being the fall-back plan if whoever he's chasing now doesn't work out? How many times?

    People do not develop deeper relationships by disengaging from them, just as people don't get better at dealing with stress by never having to deal with any. Sounds like he's chickened out.

    What is attractive about a guy who abandons his family because he has a moment of uncertainty? Has he ever heard of Character or Ethics?

    What's love got to do with it?
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 4:14 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • my x and I tried that crap. He always said we'd get back together but that never happened. Once he was out he liked being single and never came back. Maybe your situation will be different
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:17 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • Sweetie, he doesn't want to be a responsible father.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 5:16 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

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