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Exactly WHO sets the "rules" regarding when it's time for another woman's child to stop using a bottle or a pacifier (or a diaper for that matter)?

Am I the only one that getting tired of hearing how a child should stop using a pacifier when he/she can talk? Or when a child is one year old (or 11 months, or whatever age the person says) they should be taken off of the bottle? Or how a child that can ask for the breast should stop being breastfed at that point? And on and on...who sets these "rules"? I go on the AAP website regularly, and THEY don't even make rules...they make recommendations, and the PARENTS make decisions based on them. How many of us parent our children based on other people's standards?

I'm sure you can think of other "rules"...please share if you wish. Oh here's another "rule": when a child gets teeth, it's time to wean from the breast. Whatever!!


Asked by Anonymous at 3:37 PM on Aug. 2, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (37)
  • My daughter is almost 13 months old and she still is on the bottle and I dont see it ending any time soon. I couldn't care less what others think about her and a bottle. She loves it and she eats very well and healthy. I let her have her baba as a reward for eating such healthy veggies and fruits and not putting up a fight.

    Women on here think they have the right to judge and try to parent everyone else's children, whom they don't even know. That's what kills me the most. You will see the same people saying "Don't rush your kid into growing up. Every child is different and grows at different rates and hits their milestones at different times." when it comes to starting solids and holding their bottles and feeding themselves. However, when it comes to other things, they say " . . . not after such and such date . . that is too long"

    They all think they're the best mothers that ever walked the earth.

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 3:43 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • It is nobody's decision but the child and the mother's together. I do find it disgusting though to see a 5+ year old at the store with a pacifier in her mouth.

    Answer by tnm786 at 3:40 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • They aren't "rules". They are expectations set by whoever says them. You don't have to follow their rules.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:41 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • society

    Answer by pookipoo at 3:42 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG, do you and I share a brain or something?! I have been up on my high horse about this for FAR too long. I am so glad someone else sees what I see. I get SO tired of twenty something yr old moms (no offense if youre in your 20's) with only 1 or maybe 2 kids who are toddlers, preaching to the rest of us about whats okay and whats not when it comes to kids and parenting. I am a FOURTH time mom. I have a TEEN, a TWEEN, a 7yr old and a 3 yr old. Ive been on this rodeo for awhile and I am quite certain of what works and what doesnt and how each child is different, even if theyre from the same parents. THERE IS NO BOOK and if there is, no one shared it with me. There are no set rules about these matters and every parent should decide what works BEST for them AND their child and no one else. I just get so tired of these invisible rules that moms are beating one another up with. STOP IT!

    Answer by momofsaee at 3:43 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • **sorry I used so many capital letters and exclamation points*** LOL...You got me fired up...he he.

    Answer by momofsaee at 3:45 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • Let me ask . . What exactly is DISGUSTING about a child with a pacifier? I could see if the kid had a chewed up, dog-slobbered dog toy in their mouth. That would be disgusting, but a child with a pacifier in their mouth is DISGUSTING? That's just plain stupid.

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 3:45 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • When someone asks for advice on when they should stop people will give their opinions. I think a pacifier and bottle are gross after the age 18 mo. I think they should be gone by 1 year. I think it's also disgusting when children aer almost in school and are in diapers

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:46 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • i dont get that they say you can breastfeed your baby until they are 2 but if they are on a bottle past a year its terrible. if my son doesnt want a sippy cup at a yr old hes still gonna have a bottle. he doesn't take his pacifier anymore though which is fine with me

    Answer by ilovenoah26 at 3:47 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • Well, it depends on exactly what you're talking about. Kids who hang on to their pacis sometimes mumble, and don't enunciate because they're walking around with a paci in their mouths all the time. Not to mention that paci's and bottles aren't that great for them when their teeth come in. Breast feeding is different because a mother's nipple conforms to the baby's mouth, with or without teeth. Those are recommendations based on medical results. As for potty training, around two is when many kids are "ready" but IMO there's no need to start then or push for it. But if you need your kid in daycare and they won't take unpotty trained 3yo, well, that's something you do need to push for. It all depends on your family, your needs, and the recommendations set by Drs and so on. Everyone does their own thing anyway though.

    Answer by motherofanaries at 3:47 PM on Aug. 2, 2009