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Do you think getting a divorce from your husband because he won't or doesn't try enough to look for work is a good reason to get a divorce?

I love my husband but I don't love his stupidity.The only reason really that I keep holding on to this relationship is because I'm a Christian and our God says that He has joined us together and let no man tear us apart. P.S. he's been out of work way before the economy got really bad,so to say everyone is out of work,he and a few others were the first to be out of work because he had some friends and co-workers go out of work back in 2001.I believe for better or worst and this is for worst but I think if we seperated he might get his act together.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:06 PM on Aug. 2, 2009 in Money & Work

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I will not ask if you have discussed this with him. I am sure you have if he has not worked since 2001. Is he educated? Does he have a trade? Is he just lazy? You say you love him. If that is the case, and you are a Christian, then you hhave already answered your own question. Try talking to your minister or suggest counseling. There are many questions that can be asked About your relationship. His age, has he always been this type of worker or non-worker. Are there children? What is your profession? Does he do things around the house? The list can be quite long. I don't have any miracle answer. There is however power in prayer.
    birdyoung

    Answer by birdyoung at 8:33 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • Yes, I would divorce him! I can not stand when I am the only one working and he gets to sleep on the couch all day and lay around. This is what split my husband and I up!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:16 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • I think its a perfect reason. My daughter's bio dad is like that and he would make every excuse in the book and say it wasnt his fault. I say that if you want to do something you can make it happen. It doesnt take years to get a job, even in a bad economy.

    Good things dont come free and if he thinks that he can keep you (the good thing...or maybe the best thing in his life) without working for it, I would say that he's horribly mistaken. Its not that you're a gold digger or anything like that, its that you cant support a family (or even yourself) on 'love'. Religion is one thing, happiness and the way to it is completely different.
    Deathlilly

    Answer by Deathlilly at 8:41 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • If not getting a divorce is so important to you, then why don't you look for a job and let him stay home.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:14 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • I make really good money and he stays home and takes care of the kids while I work.It saves us on daycare.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:26 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • You dont' necessarily have to get a divorce. You could seperate. Just tell him you are still his wife, but until he can get himself together and act like a husband, you'll be living apart.
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 10:33 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • Money is the #1 cause of divorce. I think all the preservation of marriage groups shoudl stop worrying about gays and get to work on this subject.

    Has he been to counseling? Have the two of you lost a home due to his joblessness? Is it impacting your family in a negative way besides your being upset?

    Are drugs and alcohol in the picture?

    I'm not saying stay with him at all costs. Even God doesn't say that. God didn't come up with that line about let no man put asunder...humans came up with that.

    I AM saying that *if* you can handle the paradigm of YOU being the breadwinner and HIM being the person who cares for the kids and the home, then go with that. If not, then divorce is an option.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:02 AM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • God made man to work. he gets to work or gets the hell out. dump him.
    God would accept your divorce if your husband wasn't accepting his role in a marriage and as a man.
    jewjewbee

    Answer by jewjewbee at 9:10 AM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • My ex was very unambitious. I told him before we even got married that I wanted to be a SAHM if/when we had kids, so it's not like it was a surprise to him, and he was okay with it. But he was lazy and I was always doing half of his work for him (he was in real estate, and i even got my real estate license to help him out!). He eventually went and got a "real" job, but we had other issues and when we divorced he quit his job because he didn't want to pay child support. He's so many tens of thousands of dollars in the hole he'll never be able to dig himself out!
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 9:53 AM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • If he is truly unmotivated and not trying to support the family, then it is perfectly reasonable to leave him.

    I found myself in that situation after my ex-husband left the military - he was convinced he should be able to get some great job because of his military training, but as far as I know he only applied for ONE job in the 8 months after he got out and before I left him. I was working FULL-TIME AT NIGHT, taking care of the kids during the day, paying all the bills, doing all the shopping, cleaning, laundry, etc. I came home from work at 4 am and I still had to get up with the kids at 8 because he was grouchy if he didn't get to sleep until at least 10 am. The only thing he contributed to the family was staying at the house while the kids slept. I left and have NEVER regretted it. Of course, I had no love left for him by then - just the sight of him made me sick. If you still love yours maybe there is hope.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:44 AM on Aug. 3, 2009