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how do i deal with this?

my fiance and i have been together for a year and a half, last month i found out that in the beginning of are relationship he was talking to another girl just once though and they sent pictures to eachother once. I had him delete all his ex's numbers and his email because thats where he talked with this girl. ever since then i feel like im more controlling and i think im doin something wrong. i told him if he does that again its over. him and i had a long talk about that, and were doing better getting passed it. i feel like i cant trust him, and i dont like him to go anywhere without me because i feel like hes doing something wrong. i love him and i dont want to smuggle him. help me out girls. what do i do. i feel like a control freak.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:42 AM on Aug. 3, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • My dh cheated on me with 4 different women... he told me and I figured he could have kept it a secret! I forgave him and while I would like to watch his every move it would only make me a worrying wreck and stressed out. I have more important things to do and if he does it again, I don't have to put up with it! I told him this and haven't had to worry about anything. He tells me every girl he emails, gives them my email.... if I ask about someone he deletes her or has her talk to me..... I truly love him and wouldn't do this back but if it gets worse or he does it again, I will be leaving instead of freaking out all the time!
    He is a full grown man, he will make his decisions. I won't deny him that! but he faces the consiquences (sp) for his actions later!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:09 AM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • thanks girl, you had me thinking about alota stuff while reading ur post.
    its hard but im trying to get threw it
    i just need to stop being controlling and i guess let him do what hes gonna do
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:17 AM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • You need to loosen up a little or you may possibly lose him because of your actions. You need to try and trust him, even if it's difficult for you. If he is doing something wrong, you will eventually find out anyway. Just try and give him some space and trust in the fact that he loves you and wouldn't jeopardize your relationship. If you really can't trust him, then maybe you shouldn't be considering marriage. It may be a warning sign.
    B_Vail

    Answer by B_Vail at 6:01 AM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • so he didnt actually cheat on you right? he was just talking 2 a girl? maybe he didnt know if he liked u yet. now your engaged so he must think ur the one. how can he get u to trust him? dont get married if you dont trust him.
    mudgirl

    Answer by mudgirl at 6:37 AM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • I say if he hasn't giving you a reason to be a control freak b/c you are acting like one. Then relax some being this way will push him away. And him talking to another girl when you all first started talking shouldn't have been a problem, you guys weren't committed to each other.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:46 AM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • this happened in the beginning w/my SO of 2 and a half yrs. i talked w/him about it until blue in the face. sometimes he'd get pissed, but i told him it really hurt me and if he wanted to be with me it needs to be all the way or nothing. now we share phones, read each other's emails, and laughed when that last girl tried to break us up when he decided he wanted just me(i told him to leave the state & he was w/her a week b4 coming back) . he told her he wanted to be with me right in front of me and got his number changed. this same girl recently wrote him on facebook and he deleted the phone number she gave him. i can't explain it, but when a guy decides he's done looking at other women and wants the one he's with- u can really feeel it and u know he's not hiding anything....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

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