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Best advice you can give please...... Especially past experience!!

The father of my son put his hands on me yesterday and I had to call the police on him. Now I'm pregnant with another child of his now. I'm not goin to lie and say it was the first time but I have noticed that it has gotten worst each time. That was the last straw for me. I'm going to press chargers on him and go from there. We don't live with one another and he doesn't have a key to my home. Knowing we have children together where do I go from here? Also we don't have an arrangement on our son, he picks him up as he pleases. Should I meet him in public places when giving or getting my son? Please give me your best advive.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:31 AM on Aug. 3, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I don't have experience with this kind of situation but yes I would meet in a public place when dropping off and picking up your son. There was a mom at one the daycares I worked at that had the same issues. They would meet at the mall in the food court whenever he was getting the kids. That way if something does happen there are lots of witnesses but also it make him keep his cool and everyone seemed to get along better in front of the kids with others watching.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:36 AM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • Do NOT drop the charges no matter what is said or done. Call an attorney, set up an appointment so you will know your rights & what actions you should take to protect yourself & your children. Go to the court house or prosecutors office, request a restraining/order of protection be placed against him.Make sure they understand that you are afraid of him, he has hurt you & may hurt you again. So that IF her comes near you or you children you can have him removed immediately. Locate a womens shelter for battered women, just in case you need them. Its always nice to know where these places are in case of an emergency. Talk to them they can help give you advice or direct you to someone to give you advice.
    Thank Goodness you called the police. Thats the hardest part, now stick with it! Good Luck! Stay strong!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 AM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • I don't have personal experience with your situation. But, I would definitely recommend meeting in very public places, maybe even at the police station, to exchange your son for visits. I would also, if I were you, seriously consider going to court and getting a firm, court ordered custody and visitation schedule written up. This way he can't take off with your son without getting in a whole lot of trouble. I would also see if you can get a restraining order that prevents him from contacting you or coming near you with the exception of exchanging your son or, for example, in a medical emergency for your son or something like that. Good luck!
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 9:42 AM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • He wouldn't be getting my child if he put his hands on me, he'd be 8 feet under. 6 from burying him 2 more for me beatin him down. No really I wouldn't let him have him unless it legal. Go to your local dfacs office they can help with that kind of stuff. I'd go get a restraining order. GL hunny & God Bless
    rebel07

    Answer by rebel07 at 9:43 AM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • I called a friend of mine who is a lawyer and he told me that you need to press charges like you said you will be doing. And yes meet in public places till you are able to get a lawyer and file for full custody of your son. And with his visitation it should be supervised because of his violent nature. I told my friend that you didnt say if he has hurt your son but im sure thats not the case because you would have said so. I wish you the best of luck. I hope all goes well and this dosnt make him more pissed off and violent.

    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 9:50 AM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • Call the domestic violence shelter in your area and ask where the location is for supervised visitation. You can drop the child off there and pick him up afterward. You can use that as a safe place.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:18 AM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • Do not drop the charges and do not let him have the children without it being court ordered and supervised. Get custody and child support court ordered. If he wants to see your child, I recommend calling an abuse shelter and asking about doing supervised visits. Get an attorney asap.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:55 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • http://www.womenslaw.org/index.php

    this website helped me, good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:55 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • My parents make the exchange of my sisters in the police station parking lot. My mom outright attacked me, and my dad doesn't want anything to happen to him while she's around.
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 2:11 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

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