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I really need help with my 3 year old!

My 3 year old has gotten the worst attitude, pretty much to the point where I can't stand to be around her, I love her, but I can't stand her right now. (Please don't bash I feel bad enough as it is). She gives the dirtiest looks, hits, screams at me, pushes down her sister, cannot sit still for anything, throws tantrums pretty much non stop, and I am at the end of my rope. I have a 1 year old who is soaking it all up. Please any advice will help. I have been doing the naughty mat for her age plus one, and the explaining why it is wrong, and for the serious offenses ( hitting us and her sister) a pop on her bottom (one little one just to get her attention when she is out of control is when she hits).

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:31 AM on Aug. 3, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (8)
  • my dd gives me dirty looks all the time too but i laugh at her and tell her i still think she's the most beautiful girl in the world, it makes her laugh too, idk about the hitting, my dd did it to me once and i told her if she don't stop i'm going to whoop her butt and she don't hit me or scream at me.... gl all i can tell you to do is spank her butt
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:34 AM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • Try to focus on the GOOD behavior. I KNOW it sounds VERy hard- but unless she is doing something like hitting just try to ignore the dirty looks, yelling ect. When my kiddo turned 3 we faced the same thing, and I felt like I was ALWAYS yelling, or disciplning....SO I just ignored anything that was not causing harm to him or others- if he DID hurt someone he got time out- but the small rude behavior, I ignored, it was HARD but I did it- THEN whenever there was the SMALLEST good behavior, like putting a toy away, giving a hug, ect- I would compliment HUGE and give a sticker - when we got up to 5 stickers on the Good Behavior chart- we had a movie night, or one on one time, or a special prize.
    I noticed after about a week or two (you MUST be consistant!) the bad attention getting behavior was practically gone- we still have bad days, but focusing on the good has been WAY better for us all! Good Luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 AM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • I was in the same boat but I straighten my little Drama Queen up. The time outs stop working and so did the soft voice and explaining what you did wrong. Now when she acts up I treat her like i would a 5yr old. I take away all toys for 30mins including TV. If she continues she I extend the time. I even take away her playdate or play park time. She hates it but she learns discipline. Now she still gives dirty looks but if she wants a fun day with friends she listens.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:06 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • My son is 3 1/2 now and the temper tantrums are quite frequent now. I just ignore him when he does it..and brought the book someone on one of my groups suggested. The book is called NO MORE MELTDOWNS by JED BAKER. I haven't finished reading it yet but it's really good.
    mkagdchcetdy

    Answer by mkagdchcetdy at 9:28 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • everyone always said "terrible twos" we SOOO bad-they just dont tell ya that threes are even worse at times lol My son will be 3 next month and he has been having a MAJOR attitude here recently where he thinks that he knows it all and nobody can tell him any differently! When he doesnt get his own way his temper can go thru the roof! I keep telling myself its just a phase and we'll get thru it,but I know how ya feel-it seems NEVER ending at times! Like mentioned above when the fits get too bad I try to just let him scream it out-even lil ones need a way to vent when there mad-as long as he isnt putting himself or anyone else in danger even the dr. says letting them throw a fit wont hurt them one bit.As far as the hitting of her younger sister I agree a spanking is a good idea-she'll learn that her sister doesnt like being hit by her no more than what she likes being spanked by you.Good Luck!!
    dakotasmommy06

    Answer by dakotasmommy06 at 5:22 PM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • o thank goodness, i been feeling so awfull about my feelings towards my 3 year old.he is MY LITTLE MONSTER.I love him with all my heart,but he is so hard.He yells,hits,kicks,throws he tells me NO then goes to his room slamming the door then throws his toys at the door while yelling the whole time.I am a single mom and tryin to find sitter is almost imposible.his own grandma cant handle him.I feel I have done well with raising him.so he really upsets me when he acts out............after reading these posts.it sounds fairly normal and if i can stay sane thru this and be consistant with him. he will grow out of it.I HOPE! THANK U
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:56 AM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • Spank that bottom! "One pop on the bottom" won't do anything! I spanked my oldest child when she misbehaved and she is a wonderful child now! My son, i didn't spank him as much, not sure why. But he is beginning to be a total terror now! If i had spanked him more when he needed it, he might not be as hard to deal with. And when i spank, i don't just give them a "pop" on the bottom. It takes a little more than that. And one spank isn't enough. You gotta do it at least twice so they know you actually mean business. But it is so important to explain why they got a spanking. If you don't explain why to them, then they won't know what behaviour they need to stop. Best of luck to ya!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:47 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • Try care.com that's were I found my wonderful bbs.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:36 AM on Aug. 11, 2009

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