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Son's friendships

My son has made some nice new friends in the last 2 years but this summer one of his best friends is not returning calls, not wanting to hang out. This would be okay but my son is about to go into middle school, my son has high functioning aspergers and school phobia so his friends are very important part of him feeling comfortable. The problem is i am freaking out but i can't show him. I want to call the boy's Mom and say "is there a problem?" but i know i can't. please help me. Its one thing for me to be rejected but when my son is it kills me!! Thanks for any help :-)

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Asked by seasuzie44 at 10:44 AM on Aug. 3, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (7)
  • let the kids work it out, don't try to make the other boy like your son

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:46 AM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • Call the Mom. She probably feels the same towards you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:48 AM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • In this case, I would call the kids mom and find out what is going on. Otherwise, I would let the boys just work it out, friendships come and go in life but seeing your son as Asperger's he may not understand that.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:53 AM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • I would encourage the other friendships he has; maybe come up with a really cool idea for something the other boy just can't say "no" to (is there a movie coming out, or a new video game, a pokemon tournament?). Maybe if you can get them together once the other boy will remember what a good friend your son is. Otherwise, school is starting back soon, maybe he'll meet some new friends or see this boy at school where they can reconnect.

    Answer by missanc at 1:59 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • Since they are good friends the mom is probably aware of the dx and maybe since they are getting older the friend my have some misgivings. It would probably not hurt to call her and talk with her maybe she can give you some feedback. It may not be what you want but at least you could sit down with him to make it easier. Your son may not be able to articulate if something happened that the other boy didn't like. How old are the boys? There is great book out there if you need the name I can find it for you. It is written about a boy with aspergers and how he sees things.

    Answer by robinsi2000 at 3:51 PM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • With aspergers, I can see why this is affecting you too. Its understandable and the best solution is to give the mom a call and see what the problem may be...if there's a reasonable solution, then work it out if your son being seen by a therapist? If so, then maybe they can make recommendations in helping make this transition go easy and smooth for him...good luck...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 12:49 PM on Aug. 7, 2009

  • Isn't Asperger's fun? We have a "kissin' aspy" as my BFF calls it... if there were 100 points of Asperger's, my girlie has 95 LOL.

    If you're acquainted with his friend's mom, I would by all means call her. She may be able to give you input... maybe her son is conscious of your son "being different" and doesn't know what to do about it. Whatever the case, I would encourage the friendship with his other friend by keeping them in touch with each other. The other friend may come around... or maybe that friendship has run its course. I would also look into having a school plan (oh, it's got a number, IEP ### or something, can't remember) that will help the school make his transition into middle school easier.

    Answer by crittermomma at 2:33 PM on Aug. 11, 2009

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