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any one else been through this?

My son will be 6 this month. When he was 2 1/2 his dad decided he was ready to be in the picture. That lasted about 1 yr. It has been 2 1/2 yrs since my son has seen or talked to him. Last night he was in bed with me crying because he misses his daddy, and asking why we cant go see him. My poor baby. My heart was broken for him. I am not going to lie to him, but I also dont want to say anything mean, or beyond his comprehension.
Help me sooth my baby boy!

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mommymeg03

Asked by mommymeg03 at 10:50 AM on Aug. 3, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 13 (1,235 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • That is difficult. Do you have his address? If so have your son write him a letter explaining his feelings. Sometimes men pull away for the oddest reasons. Some men do thinking that if he comes back into his life after all this time that he might upset him. He has to know his son misses him. This way you don't have to explain. However if you cannot contact him let him know it is not his fault and his daddy loves him anyway. Let him know life can seem unfair at times but to be thankful for the things he does have.( Like You.) And good for you for not bashing his father in front of him!!!
    oliviahank

    Answer by oliviahank at 10:56 AM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • it's hard when a child thinks noone loves them.... my poor nephew lives with my parents b/c my sister and her ex husband don't want him.... his dad signed over all rights to my parents & my sister moved to another state and abandonded him.... needless to say mom & dad have custody but he feels like him mama hates him, we try our best to let him know he's loved but he thinks it's his fault (he's almost 10)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • My son is 13 and has had little contact with his father since birth. My son has had other positive role models in his life and has not missed his father. I do not bad mouth his father, nor do I really say anything about him unless my son asked. My son gets plenty of love and attention from me and my ex bf, my family and friends that he doesn't miss his father. Yes, it was tough until he was old enough to understand that sometimes a person just isn't meant to be a parent and that is ok. My son is waiting until he is 18 and then he is writing his father a letter about how he feels about him, I will NOT let him do it until then because it will not be nice. My son is very intelligent and opinionated. I highly recommend counseling for your son, it really helped mine understand what was going on.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:08 AM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • I had a talk with my son and simply told him, that some people just don't know how to love as much as others. I told him his daddy didn't know how strong love could be and if he did, he would be able to see him. It's a very very hard situation, but unfortunately, there is nothing you can do. Don't ever bad mouth your son's father in front of him (or anywhere near him, kids have big ears). It's not fair to him, and soon, he will be old enough to see the bad parts for himself. My son is 8 now, and he is starting to see for himself who his dad really is, but I let him make those decisions for himself.
    kitten_shuga

    Answer by kitten_shuga at 12:31 AM on Aug. 4, 2009

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