Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

hubby problems

Okay so my husband came clean about cheating on me back in november and more and more just keeps coming out. The lies don't stop!! and I can totally tell when someone is lying I've studied it because I'm not a trusting person. Their eyes go back and forth or look up cause mentally their "looking for the lie" and he keeps doing that and you know the famous story change. He told me he got checked and I made him call the place he got checked at and low and behold he was telling the truth about that. thank god they all came back looking okay. I want to work things out with him and do marriage counceling and he said he'd go to sex addict classes and stuff but I'm seriously confused and hurt at what I should do. Any suggestions? (please no rude comments)

Answer Question
 
Heidikans

Asked by Heidikans at 11:40 AM on Aug. 3, 2009 in Relationships

Level 20 (8,357 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Just get started in counseling and know that it is going to be a very long road before things settle down, I'd say a good 2 years. Make sure you are both up for some very hard work to get back on track. I don't like his "sex addict class" offer, makes me think he's trying to play victim here, like oh, its not my fault I'm an addict, crap. Don't buy it.

    I'm curious, why did he come clean all of a sudden?
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 11:46 AM on Aug. 3, 2009


  • I think you should follow your heart, marriage isnt alway's easy it takes alot of work and we are only human so yeah people make mistake's at least he want's to get help and change that is always a plus..... I think giving a second chance is ok but only once, My hubby cheated on me while i was pregnant 7 yrs ago even though we were only teenager's im glad i gave him a second chance because he has never done it and now we have three amazing kid's, and no our marriage hasnt been perfect since then we still have our fights and we still disagree but i love him more and more everyday....I hope all turns out for you and Good luck!
    WvMommyof3

    Answer by WvMommyof3 at 11:47 AM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • he said the guilt was driving him crazy, and I told him I felt like he was playing the victim too cause he sits there and "I'm such a horrible person" MAN ALL MIGHTY JUST SHUT UP!! ya know!! I'm so frustrated with him!
    Heidikans

    Answer by Heidikans at 11:47 AM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • Marriage counseling for sure. I'd have trouble trusting him, too. Perhaps do all that you can do, despite the feelings of mistrust, to give him a happy home life. This may make him be more unwilling to lose it.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 11:48 AM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • First and foremost...If you decide to go to a marriage councelor, find one that understands the issues that the two of you are going through. Never go to a marriage councelor because of their title...be open and honest about your feelings regardless if what you say may hurt your spouse...Secondly, take each day, step by step...if your husband wants to change, then there's nothing wrong in giving your marraige another try...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 1:46 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN