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How far would you go?

If you thought you loved someone, I and I mean REALLY loved someone who you have a type of realtionship with that isn't exactly what you want, but it's all the other person can give to you right now. How long would you wait to see if things were going to change, or would you wait at all? Would you just move on and try to forget him or would you stand firm and try to wait and see if anything comes of it?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:20 PM on Aug. 3, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • im not sure im kinda in the same boat. sorry
    jaksonsmommy

    Answer by jaksonsmommy at 2:21 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • My guess is that the person is married? Or in some sort of relationship.. Been there.. Dated a man on and off, that went from just seeing this girl to marrying her. We had it out that he married her, but said he only did it because she was pregnant. Still to this day, we still talk, and I am crazy about him. I'm married myself and seeing him and seeing him on the caller ID makes my heart melt. But right now, I'm still fighting.. waiting until he's single and I'm single, then we can be together .. until then we are just friends .
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:23 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • You know, I'd take more pride in myself, and see other men for the time being. He'll either come around, or he won't, and there's no sense in pining away over him, wondering, if it takes years, you're going to lose precious time you could be spending with someone just as special or even moreso.

    Stay strong, sister. You were blessed with the gift of choice, and given pride for a reason. Use them both. CHOOSE to take PRIDE in yourself!
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 2:25 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • *OP* Actually he's not married and doesn't have another girlfriend, he just says he doesn't want a relationship, or a serious one anyway, right now. He last serious girlfriend really hurt him, and he was engaged at one time and she cheated on him so I think he's very hurt. I've done everything in my power to show him that I really do love him and want to be good to him, but it just seems like he has his mind made up that I'm going to hurt him too, therefore he shuts me out and keeps me at what I feel like is arms length, making sure I'm still there but not committing to me. I feel like it might work out in the long run I'm just not sure I can take much more though.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:27 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • I think that if someone really loved you, they would give you the kind of relationship you'd want. I mean, obviously I think it works two ways - I think a compromise could arranged. But I think initially they should want to give you the kind of relationship you want. Just like you'd want to give them the kind they want. I don't think you should settle for anything less than what you want because if you do, then you will never be satisfied.
    Blubuni99

    Answer by Blubuni99 at 2:27 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • Wow, anon, so you're waiting for the 4 people involved to live thru a divorce so the 2 of you can be together?

    I'm sorry that you have that hold on you!
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 2:27 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • OP, that changes things a bit.

    You know, that's the same scenario as I went thru with my DH. PM me and we can talk more.

    But to all you out there that are curious, I told DH that one day, he'd either change his mind, or I'd get tired of waiting. I didn't really date anyone else, but yes, I went out a couple times with other men, say to dinner, or a movie... etc.

    I waited 4 years, and finally asked for the last time if he was interested at all... he said still he wasn't sure, so I told him I was leaving. I got all my things from his house the next day while he was at work, (we'd been living together a little over a yr) and when he came home, he fell apart. The gifts he'd given me were arranged neatly in a box on his bed, my pictures of us together in that box too. He took a good long look at those things, and 3 wks later, grabbed me up in his arms when he saw me and told me I was going to marry him.

    Now, I
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 2:32 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • understand that dating and marriage are different, but give yourself a set amount of time to make progress. Note the slightest change. Make your time together fun and worthwhile, but don't over do it. Let him see that there are other parts to your life to. You care about him, but you care about YOU too. He'll appreciate that, and he won't feel so relied on for your comfort.

    Don't wait too long, or let go of too many other opportunities that come up. Don't shut anyone else out during this period.

    Good luck!
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 2:34 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • If he really loves you he will trust you. I would move on. He just isn't that into you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:36 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • If he's not ready for a serious relationship now, what makes you think he'll be ready for one later on? He first must get over the girl that hurt him in order to treat you right. Therefore, let it go and do what you need to do for yourself. If you decide to wait until he's ready for you, then by all means go right ahead but be warned that he may not come to you the way you want him too...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 2:39 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

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