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so he thinks hes better than me and everyone else?

my FIL is driving me crazy! He thinks because he does things a certain way hes just soo wonderful. Anyone who disagrees with him or doesn't live exactly like he does he thinks they are beneath him. (Hes an evangelical Christian). I'm a Christian and I try to explain to him that everyone has their own convictions and he said that that is an excuse. He gets upset because I let my kids participate in Halloween, he claims its a devils holiday. I told him I prayed about it and am comfortable with the answer I received. He just looked at me like I'm stupid or something. I'm soo sick of being treated like this anytime I see him. He also criticizes me because I watch tv. He said when he became a Christian he didn't need tv anymore. ugh!! I am at a loss as to how to respond to him when he acts this way. I pray for him. I just wondered if anyone else has any suggestions? thank you.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:35 PM on Aug. 3, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (11)
  • Stop responding. Ignore him. And explain to your husband exactly what you've written here. It's going to be up to him to get dear old Dad in hand.

    Answer by gdiamante at 5:36 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • Most likely you're not going to be able to do much. He's older, highly religious, and set in his ways; bad recipie for change. Dh can try to talk to him but I think little will change. It's time to develop a thick skin, deaf ears and put space between you.

    Answer by teamquinn at 5:47 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • Believe in yourself..and your beliefs ignore him, let your children be children and do activities that you see fit being halloween or whatever...stay true to your heart and you wont be lead astray..

    Answer by jorjiegirl at 5:47 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • I'm a Christian too, and I STILL love Halloween !! As long as the costumes are cute or funny -not
    Have your husband talk to him. It's really his place to do so, not yours. You especially need to let your hubby know that you will not tolerate disrespect in your home or around your children. You are the parents, and that in itself should be enough to warrant respect from him. God Bless

    Answer by lighthousemom3 at 5:58 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • Sadly some convicted Christians think they know the answers and forget that being inflexible creates a hardship. I heard a pastor one time say that a friend of his felt convicted of the time he spent in front of the television. Instead of finding shows that he could agree with his family upon, or just set an example, he took the television and threw it out leaving the rest of the family resentful.
    The goal was defeated by the action. Perhaps a common goal could be met, with communication and by explaining that his self righteous behavior is hurting you. He is making himself God, and he certainly is not.
    One of the examples could be attending a fall festival at a local church. Many churches put these on for the public, the children play games and some even dress up and they leave with a bag of candy.
    Sometimes agreeing that you disagree on something, then finding common ground or a compromise is best.

    Answer by coffeedreams at 6:03 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • well halloween is from satanic belief but let him know your limits and your the mom. He just wants what best for the children.

    Answer by lawla at 7:46 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • halloween is not from a satanic belief. it is from ireland and the celts. christians also celebrate that day as all saints day. in ireland is was celebrated as the end of the harvest season. the costumes came about as an attempt by the living to scare and keep the dead (spirits) away. dont see anything "satanic" about that. im sorry that people like lawla and your father in law jump to conclusions out of ignorance and pass judgement on things they know nothing about. if your comfortable with it then let your kids have fun.

    Answer by trelimon at 8:48 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • Why is he attacking you about it? Why doesn't he talk to his son? As a strict Christian man he should know that it is your hubby's responsibility to make spiritual decisions like Halloween. If your hubby doesn't have a problem with it, that is between him and his dad, not you and his dad.

    I only noticed that because my in-laws always bypass my hubby and try and tell me what to do. I want to tell them to leave me alone, they aren't MY parents and even MY parents let me make my own choices with my DH. It is hard because it puts him in the middle of a conflict between me and his parents.

    I would stop arguing with him about it. Just ignore the comments or tell your hubby to say something when he starts arguing with you or telling you what to do. It was hard for my DH to start standing up for me to his parents, but now he is great at it.

    I don't know if that helps or not, lol : )

    Answer by Cinnamon-mom at 9:46 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • I would just tell him you go to bed every night asking for God to forgive you for your daily sins. That it is up to God, and not your father in law to judge. Use a bible verse about God being the only judge. Every time he does this, just repeat the same thing and eventually he will drop it. If after a few weeks, he doesn't.. talk to your husband about his father.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 9:52 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • Here some encouragement with some scriptures my friend and I have found for you.
    Romans 13:8 Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellow man has fulfilled the law. ( so indoing that you are accomplishing Gods will even if your FIL have disagreements, you can know you are doing your best to live for god and doing what is God has called you to do. Being loved when not deserved is grace as well. Just know tht you are doing what you need to do, and in some situations dont, not specifically this one, but once in a while he may have good godly advice. i encourage you to keep your mind open to what he has to say and to not be too proud in accepting it in the future, but also you have your own convictions. Prayer is a good one too lol

    Answer by waytruthlife at 10:02 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

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