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How can I win the custody of my son in my divorce?

I left my husband because he was physically and emotionally abusing myself as well as my son. I got my lawyer and took out a restraining order. Unfortunately I took very ill and had to go to the hospital, causing me to miss my rent and get evicted because I could not afford the fees for missing it. I allowed my former husband's parents to watch my son, under the agreement that my ex was not to be around my son and once I had settled into my new apartment I would pick my son up immediately. Unfortunately for me there was an error on my restraining order and my ex got to my son. I haven't been with my son since and I have been desperate to save my son. I don't have a car, or a job, and I don't have any living family of my own, so my ex tells me he will get full custody because I'm poor and don't have family. I'm very afraid for my son. My ex is an extremely erratic and violent person. What should I do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:41 PM on Aug. 3, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (6)
  • GET YOURSELF A GOOD LAWYER AND A JOB AND LIVING QUARTERS, IF THERE IS DOCUMENTATION OF HIS ABUSE HE IS NOT GETTING CUSTODY
    older

    Answer by older at 5:43 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • I have a lawyer, a home, and I'm drawing unemployment while I'm looking for a job. He plead guilty when he beat me when I was pregnant, and social services stated that he is unfit. Would I still get custody?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:52 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • "He plead guilty when he beat me when I was pregnant, and social services stated that he is unfit. "

    So he went to jail for that? It should be a no duh.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:56 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • Yes, he did go to jail. I thought it would be a no-duh as well, but my lawyer has me afraid that I might not win. It's basically an issue of them having money and family and me having next to nothing. Also, I had bad postpartum depression and I have anxiety disorder, and he's trying to use that against me saying that I am unfit. At least I take my meds. He is diagnosed bipolar and refuses to take meds, says he has no problem. I just need to know what my chances are and what to do to ensure I get my only child back where he is safe. I'm very afraid.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:35 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • If you have a restraining order and he was already declared unfit have you tried calling the cops to pick up your son? Or is there not even a temporary custody order yet? I would call around- CPS, family court, the police, other lawyers, this just doesn't seem right that he was already declared unfit and has your son right now. If it is a matter of not having a custody order yet beg his family to meet you someplace with your son so you can visit for a while, when they get there take him and leave then DO NOT let your son out of your sight until the custody is established. As far as I know no custody agreement means BOTH parents have equal rights to pick the child up from anyone, meaning if he leaves him with his parents you can call the cops to help you get your son. As for the other problems, I was on welfare and in a temoprary housing situation and got custody without a lawyer so if we have the full story you should be ok.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:51 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • I thought I could go get my son as well, but I called the police and they said there is nothing that can be done without a court order as long as my ex doesn't want me to have my son. It would do me no good to ask my ex's family because they are the ones paying for my ex to fight for custody. They want to take my son more than he does. There is no temporary custody order because whoever made the restraining order forgot to put it in there even though I was granted temporary custody when I got my ex-parte order. Somebody's mistake has cost me my son. I hope you are all right about this. If I lose my son, I lose my life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:50 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

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