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15 yr old feels she should have a 1000/1100 curfew.....

hello all was hoping to get some imput from you....my daugther feels that I want to keep her in all the time. She is not happy this summer because all her friends work. So she says they can only hangout after work about 800. I feel this is too late for her to go out. Any how I dont really have a set curfew it usually depends where she's going. She has been able to go to parties and stay out till 1200. On other occasions she's been to the movies and had to be home by 1030. She just wants me to give her a set curfew where she can come and go. I just feel that I cant give her that. What do you think?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:44 PM on Aug. 3, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (12)
  • i agree, it depends on where she is going and what they are doing. if she is going to hang out at someones house when they get off work and their parents will be there than it can be later (IMO) if she is going to be out running around (dinner, mall, movies etc...) there is no reason to be out after these things close. if it was me, i'd say ok your set curfew is 9:30 or 10 and that if she wants to be out later than that she has to discuss it with you before she leaves (not a phone call saying we're doing this now...) but she's pretty lucky to even get to stay out past midnight at that age. so honestly, she just needs to deal and be happy w/what you've given her (this is why i would set an early curfew sounds like shes not appreciating you allowing her to hang out at all)
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 7:48 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • At that age I didn't have a curfew because I couldn't drive yet and neither could my friends. It is going to be the same for my kids. And once my friends and I could drive we had to be home by 11:00 since that is the law where I live for minors w/a drivers license. But that meant that the person driving had to be home at that time so if I got a ride I was home earlier than that. I also had to tell my parents where we were going before we left. If plans changed then I needed to call them and let them know.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:14 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • At that age, I had a 11pm curfew but I still had to have permission to go out. If she is mature and well behaved, I wouldn't have a problem with an 11pm curfew.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 8:26 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • At that age I had a curfew that was 9:00 during the week for school and 11:00 on weekends and the summer. I had to call home if I was changing friends houses even if it was down the street. I agree that a set curfew is in order if that is what she is asking for but be reasonable. I wouldn't set it for 8:00 that is really early to be home at that age, but do what is right for you family. Remember that at 15 children are really ungrateful anyways.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 8:32 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • I agree with you. I tell my kids when to be home based on the activities they are attending. Occassionally they ask can I stay out until ....? Sometimes, they have gone out at 9pm if their friends are getting off work. Then I usually say 11 or 11:30.
    moneymagnetmom

    Answer by moneymagnetmom at 9:46 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • I think she's too young to be going out with her friends to just do whatever she wants. She should be going out with the family and only going with friends when there is other adult supervision. She is not mature enough to be making grown-up decisions nor is she mature enough to discern when there is trouble brewing. Although she may feel that she is an adult, she is far from it. I would be very vigilant where she is concerned. Children fare much better when the rules are strict than they do when they are too lax.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:31 PM on Aug. 3, 2009

  • Fifteen is a bit young to be just coming and going with only a curfew to guide her. How does she get where she wants to go? I would look at each situation individually. So say on Friday night, if she wants to go hang out with friends or see a movie, you ask her where, when, with WHOM, how, and then give her a reasonable time to be home. Then the next time she wants to do something, you go over it again. Every time she wants to go out the door, these questions need to be asked. That way when you call at 8 to check on her and find out if she where she says she is, then you know she can be trusted. I personally feel that a fifteen yr old has no business at unsupervised parties. IF the parents are home, then great, but if its just a bunch of her older friends, then NO. Shes under age.. My daughter got caught sneaking out of my home going to parties where there was alcohol, likely drugs and no parents. She was 14. I flipped.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 3:23 AM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • It depends where you live, and how she gets around but frankly at 15, I'd give her a little freedom and see where it takes her. I'd tell her that her curfew (unless she asks otherwise) is 10p, and ask her to let you know where she is & with whom, and anytime she changes, she should let you know - and tell her you'd feel more assured if she checked in every hour or so (texts work the best). See if she respects the time and those conditions.. if she does, continue or allow later and if not, punish.

    You'll never learn to trust her if you don't allow her to show you whether she is trustworthy or not.
    PhillyinFrance

    Answer by PhillyinFrance at 6:22 AM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • At 15 my curfew was 11:30 but my parents had to know where I was going to be and who I was with.
    KalebsMommee

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 4:47 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • @ 15 my daughters curfew was 10 pm, as of Feb when she turned 16 it's 11 pm. Now, if it's a party then it's 12 midnight. I did tell her that she will not be attending "parties" all the time so don't pull anything. It will be 12 until she leaves the nest.
    Dreadhead

    Answer by Dreadhead at 4:27 AM on Aug. 5, 2009

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