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my husband is adopted...

I was talking to his adopted mother the other day and she started talking about his birth parents. (Since he turned 18 he found his birth family and talks to his birth mom. His birth dad died a month before he turned 18 and was legally able to meet him.) His adopted mom started telling me why (she was told) he and his 2 older brothers were taken away. She was told that his father (who was not the father of the other 2 boys) beat the other 2 so bad they ended up in the hospital on more than one occasion. My husband doesn't want to believe this because his birth family has said that the boys didn't deserve to be taken away. But they won't go into detail. He wants to find out the truth. Does anyone know if its possible to get ahold of your cps case?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:09 AM on Aug. 4, 2009 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • Yes he can get a redacted copy of his CPS case file. It would remove identifying information such as the identity of who made the complaint but all info pertaining to him should be released. He will need to contact CPS in the state/county he resided in prior to removal from the family home. He would be asking for "public Disclosure" of his case file. there may be fees associated with the copying and mailing of the files
    PortAngeles1969

    Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 12:42 AM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • I can't help you with this question, but I pray your hubby will find the truth.
    timelessglass

    Answer by timelessglass at 12:18 AM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • Thanks. We are over loaded right now with moving, both of us full time in college, and both working 2 jobs. But this has been on my mind alot. And I can't ask his adopted mom because she will get offended and probably doesn't know anyways. And I know his birth mom wouldn't have any idea. She would just go on for hours about how his dad loved him and fought so hard for him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:23 AM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • Thank you so much! I will let him know as soon as I make it to bed.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 AM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • Listen to Port, she will not mis-guide you;) If, in the reality of this journey...what his mother has told him is indeed true...there will be copies on file of cases where abuse was indeed happening, with the hospital/clinic where the treatment was recieved. I guess, what bothers me even more...'Why did his mother feel the need to divulge something, that would inflict pain inside her son? Why, especially after his Firstdad died,(GOD rest his soul),did she feel this would be moral, proper, and loving to reveal...especially since SHE,his mother, was not there to first-hand acknowledge these horrible accusations????? I am very disappointed in parents whom feel this is proper and loving!!!!! Blessing, Please just be there for him, C.J.
    ceejay1

    Answer by ceejay1 at 9:55 AM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • We are always talking about truth and honesty in adoption, in age-appropriate doses, in regards to a child's beginnings. The child is now an ADULT, and has found his birth mom. The birth dad is dead, and IF he is the reason that he and his brothers were not able to be raised by his birth mom, then he has a right to know it. He's an adult, it would explain a lot, and perhaps answer a lot of questions. If he's going to look into his CPS file, a little preparedness should be in order. It is quite painful to learn of the abuse that took place at the hands of your own parents. Should she have withheld the truth? The birth family would probably not like for that info to surface, perhaps in their minds, it wasn't that bad or maybe never happened. But there will be medical records. Now, if he gets his file & it doesn't say that, different story. But as I say, CPS doesn't remove children because all is fine. It takes a LOT to TPR.
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 10:26 AM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • (Con't) I wouldn't say the BF was a bad person, but that he made bad choices when he was younger.I would emphasize that the blessing is that w/o his bdad, he would not exist, and I wouldn't have him for a son. That sometimes God rescues people, and places them where they can grow up safe. Had the father lived, I'd encourage (If he had the desire to seek) him to develop a relationship with him. I would tell him that I am saddened that he did pass away before he got to know him, because perhaps over the years he had changed. The fact that the birth mom's family loves him is wonderful (not all reunions are positive) And if the birth mom continued in the life of the birth dad, then she could enlighten her birth son as to the positive aspects of his life. If she wasn't, she can tell him what she knew in the past. It makes no sense that Amom should be silent. Her son would think she was hiding something.
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 11:20 AM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • Doodlepan, I agree to some extent...However one should never tell, WHY, quote'what she was told!" unquote, the version of HER(adoptive mothers) version of the truth. If it is a truth, and she did not wish for her son to be hurt, she should have gone further than a RUMOR, and gotten CFS files to back her claim...and most definately told him before now...if it is indeed the truth. However, I feel very strongly about telling every child the truth(age appropriate0, in fact..not (what she was told), this only serves the purpose of placing yet one more unfounded emotion onto the child/adult whom was adopted...my by their choice. Only ONE person can tell that truth...his FIRSTmom...no one else. Tell a child only the facts...not rumor! JMHO, this is how I have always raised my now 30 yr old., and if and when I meet my twin sons, I pray their Mom did not tell them "HER" TRUTHS! I will gladly answer ANY question, with truth...C.J.
    ceejay1

    Answer by ceejay1 at 1:25 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • BEFORE WE CAN ADOPT a child thru CPS (at least in Texas) we are REQUIRED to read their file. We need to know what has happened so that we can determine whether or not the level of abuse/neglect, type of abuse (physical, sexual, psychological, emotional, etc.) is something that we are confident that WE can handle, and that WE can manage in the future, should behavior problems, or emotional issues surface as a result of their past.
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 4:01 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • Doodlebopfan, I think that is an awesome requirement. I know a lot of spectacular foster parents in WA that all too often had enough love and will, but the placements would have gone a lot smoother if they had the information and background contained in the case files.

    This makes me think about how little information was passed on during the closed adoption era. It just didn't serve anybody's interests well to withhold or not even inquire about certain things.

    OP, it would be good for your husband to understand that the CPS file it is a record of "agency involvement" not necessarily the full story representing everyone's voice. And sometimes, things can get recorded in a harsh, clinical, or unemotional way which might not represent how individual social workers, medical personnel, foster parents, even bio family actually responded during that time. Still......I would rather have the information than nothing.
    PortAngeles1969

    Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 4:11 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

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