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i dont no what to do any more.

im 20 years old an i have a 8 month old daughter.
im trying to support her the best i can but i have so much weight on my shoulders, my mom lives in the same apt building as i do with my lil sister 15 year old sister an her 17year old bf. every time i get money my mom an sister think i owe them it, they are always asking me for money food an come over to my house an just take what they want. i dont no what to do i tell them no an they start big fights with me its hard enough raising my daughter on my own with no help at all, or love care support how do i get them off my back ?? i cant take the stress any more i need to raise my daughter not my mom . please some 1 help ?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:07 AM on Aug. 4, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (5)
  • I can somewhat relate. My mother is independent but shes emotionally manipulative so it still creates this trapped feeling for me. I do live 2 hours from her but she still finds ways to make me miserable. Is there a way you can move? If not, then you need to just say it. Just sit down with them and SAY IT. Say I would appreciate if you call before you come over. I would appreciate if you would NOT eat my food that I buy with MY money. I would appreciate if you would NOT ask me for money. Are you married? I was going to suggest that you have husband deal with this. If not, then youre on your own. Sounds like youre doing a pretty good job on your own and you would like not to have to raise three more people. I totally get that. Youve got to stand up to them and they will be mad at you but they will respect you. Thats the bottom line problem. They dont respect you. Be kind and compassionate but tell them to back off.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 3:13 AM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • Wait a minute your mom and sister live in the same complex as you and they want you a single mom to take care of them also?! Tell them to hit it for real you can't afford to take care of everyone you are to take care of your child and you and everyone else needs to hit it. Your mother needs to grow up and take care of your sister and her and for the BF he needs to get a JOB. Have you tried to talk to your mom and tell her straight up that you can't take care of everyone and that your not doing this anymore. I'm sorry everyone is walking all over you I wish you the best and if you need to talk ever look me up i am a good listener.

    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 3:14 AM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • thank you guy for the support an answering my question, ive told my mom lately i cant help her she freaks ive been trying everything i can an to be as nicely as i can about it . like early today i offered to make dinner for every 1 but they didnt want what i had in mind to cook, they were mad at me because i couldn't give them money them to go to the store an by drinks my mom freaked out an told my sister to give me back all my stuff an told me she dosent want me as a daughter any more.
    redivy

    Answer by redivy at 3:21 AM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • You teach people how to treat you. If it is broken, fix it. Move away. . .
    zassymama2

    Answer by zassymama2 at 3:22 AM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • Redivy....this is a classic case of manipulation. Your mother must be queen of manipulators (along with mine) and youre going to have to recognize it when she does it. The emotional guilt is just so you will give her what she wants. So the bottom line is that she wants what she wants more than she cares about a relationship with you. Thats hurtful to hear, but you need to know the truth about manipulators. Let her take all her stuff back and let them be mad for awhile. At least with her being mad at you, you will get some relief. Thats the good side of it. She wont stay mad for long and pretty soon, she will come around trying her old ways again. So you have to stand firm again. She might get mad and walk away again. Pretty soon, she gets the message and realizes that youre not going to back down. She will find a happy medium. LIke the PP said, youre teaching her how to treat you. Like crap. She wont stop loving you, I promise
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 3:29 AM on Aug. 4, 2009

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