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How can I get my little boy back!!! Please someone help!!!!

Ok I need some serious help!!!! My three year old has turned into a monster! I have NO idea how to handle this! He has had the same problems before but this time its worse! He is crying ALL day long about EVERYTHING!!! he woke up this morning crying for ice cream and when I told him no, i would make him some pan cakes it was a never ending battle about that dam ice cream so I got it out of the freezer and threw it in the trash! You would of thought the world ended!!! He fights with his brother and takes all the toys. He even chocked his brother today! he has never seen anyone do that so I have NO idea where that came from! He used to sit in time out like any three year old does.. he sat in time out for almost and hour today screaming and the neighbor came over asking if everything is ok... I'm at my wits end.. i don't know how to handle this! Please someone tell me how to take care of these fits and the whining!

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Asked by ms_jackson at 5:44 AM on Aug. 4, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • First of all, every three year old has the potential to be a monster! Terrible two's are nothing compared to a three year old. He is enforcing his independence and need for control. He knows that he can cause things to happen or not to happen. You and your three year old are getting into power struggles! He will try to wear you down and most often will or else hit a brick wall were both of you will not budge.
    First of all, anytime you can let him make choices, let him. If he is fighting you when it is time to get dressed, let him choose his clothes sometimes and if you are not going anywhere then let him dress himself at his own pace. Show him two pairs of shoes, both of which you are ok with and let him choose. Give him opportunities to be in control when it is appropriate. Of course, you are not going to let him be in control of when he goes to bed or if he jumps on the couch, but within reason. (continued)

    Answer by LovetoTeach247 at 6:14 AM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • Make sure that when he does do what you ask him to do without a fit, that you shower him with specific praise. "Mommy really liked how you put on your shoes so quickly and quietly. You are a big boy!" Be enthusiastic and praise him often when he is doing things the way you want him to and without tantruming. Do the same thing when you see him playing nicely with his brother. At first it will seem like you are praising him to much, but you have to so that he will start toturn his behavior around.
    He should never be in time out for an hour. One minute per age. 3 minutes for him.I know if he is screaming you don't want him to get up, but as he sits there, listen for even a couple of seconds of quiet and quickly let him get up. Ignore the whining and if he is tantruming over the ice cream, don't get into a battle with him. Tell him in a calm voice, "No ice cream until ____." Then ignore the tantrum! Praise the good

    Answer by LovetoTeach247 at 6:24 AM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • Has there been ANY changes in the home lately? Dad gone more frequently than usual? Change in routine? moving? anything traumatic? That just sounds like a child who is seriously wanting your attention for some reason. I mean, all kids go through it, and we have all dealt with it, but its trying for sure. The main thing to do is remain calm and try not to lose YOUR patience with him. Maybe he needs a bit more loving and cuddling than usual. Kids go through these phases where they just need reassurance. Then they go back to being themselves. Maybe spend some time rocking him. Hes only 3 so hes not too old to crawl in your lap and be cuddled. My 3 yr old loves for me to rock him. Give lots of hugs and kisses and spend extra time with him. Each child needs this at some point. It just sounds like the behavior isnt really about ice cream or all the other details. Its something deeper than that. Good luck.

    Answer by momofsaee at 6:31 AM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • i agree terrible two's are nothing then the monster 3's my son i swear also changed over night even my dh asked were his swich was so we could flip the swich in the am when my son starts i also give him a choice do u want this ceral or this one i let him have the choice.. do u want milk in the creal or no milk...later on during the day its the ice cream fight and i will say no u can have the orange ice cream later and thats it its done i will not argue about it anymore i will ignore his tamtrum which will last about 10 mins.. ( i will clean the counters or sweep floor to keep me busy ) and he will give up. it sounds like hes trying to see if u will cave in..dont do it cause once u do it will always happen.. its a tough age for them and us as moms just breath and count 1....2.....3....and busy yourself find something to do..good luck mama and stay strong xo

    Answer by tabbys4 at 6:52 AM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • my daughter younger than your child, mine just turned 2 and she can really have some big fits. When she does, she is way out there, too out of control for time outs, i let her fit on the carpet, but play just out of her reach with some favorite toys. i keep some in other room for just these occasions. i try not to give her any attention, i feel any attention good or bad is what this fit is really about, so i play and have a lot of fun with her things, she usually sees that what i am doing is more fun than her fit. She has upped the anti the other day, banging her head on the floor (carpet on carpet in livingroom) was not getting my attention, so she banged her head on the coffee table -ouch! she stopped this after two quick slams, hope she does not try this again! i agree with the other mom that said You Can Not Give In Even Once!
    good luck, know that you are not alone, many of us out there

    Answer by boredmom44 at 7:59 AM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • as for rocking child with soft things to say, this did work for my sister who had a stubborn girl who liked to fit, but does not work for my daughter who fits harder when i tryed to hold and comfort. she even bruised my eye socket with her head butting
    so try the hold, cuddle time, but do not feel bad if this does not work with your child

    Answer by boredmom44 at 8:03 AM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • I have raised 5 kids and lived in the country when they were young. I only had 2 that would throw fits like you are describing and when they were just throwing a fit about nothing, or not getting their way, they had to go into another room away from me and if that didn't work, I set them outside on the porch to get the fit out of their system. I watched closely by the window when they were outside, but told them, Mommy loves you, but you will not scream at me in my house. When you can behave, you may come back in. Usually less than 5 minutes later they were calm enough to return indoors. I know this sounds drastic, but it worked for me. They are all grown now and tell me that was probably the best thing I ever did for them.

    Answer by kustomkrochet at 8:36 AM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • My terrible 3 yr old just turned 4 and it's no better. He throws things and has a fit over nothing. My husband says "it's a growth spurt give him tylenol". He's SO wrong. While it could be a growth spurt I refuse to medicate where there is no reason to do so. I put him to bed for his fits and he screams "I don't want a nap" for as long as I'll leave him there. I've tried time outs, smacking hands, taking toys and games, nothing works. You just have to hold your ground sometimes and distract them. Tell them no but say "later, if you can behave..." or sometimes I throw his shoes on him and take him out for a walk. I ask him what he wants to do OTHER than freeze pops for breakfast. If he's still having a fit, walk away. Believe me, I really wish there was a better answer but I don't know of any.

    Answer by KeishaJL at 3:08 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

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