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Tired of kids acting like parents are always entitled too..when do you say no, she treats us like trash and others like Gold when we do all we can for her.

My 21 yr old dd is out now and is college and works alott.She has always been good to pay her own way.has never asked for much.Now her babys grandparents see how hard she tries without any help of the daddy their son..so they have moved her in with them since her works close and told her she does not have to worry about helping them at all, save her money for everything..they have been great.plus they get to see our granddaughter everyday now.We help our grown kids when we can and they cant and are tryin..to the point.Now she acts like we should be the same way with her too,her car is broke down and acts like we should pay for the toll fees get it fixed and take care of the whole situation..already spent 200 tolling it , thats not even paying for whoevers works on it yet.and thinks cause they help we should do more for her too like babysit and and do whatever she asked we dont have that kind of money and still have two sons 2

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:26 PM on Aug. 4, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (5)
  • She's 21 and very fortunate that the other set of grandparents is willing to step in when their son won't. However, that doesn't mean she gets a completely free ride. If she's not having to pay for anything where she lives then she should be able to get her own car fixed.
    AuntieM

    Answer by AuntieM at 12:34 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • Sounds like you did a good job raising her but now that she's been spoiled some she has turned into a brat. She's an adult and not much you can do about the "brat" part but stick to what you've done and how you've raised her all along. The little selfish tantrums are just going to happen unfortunatly. Don't compromise your standards just because she makes you feel guilty. You taught her right but what she does with it is unfortunatly now out of your control. Sorry to hear this. Hopefully this will one day change.
    Traxx

    Answer by Traxx at 3:11 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • tell her that you love her and will not enable her. She needs to learn responsibility and you love her enough to help her learn it by NOT helping her with these things. She can use the money she's saving from the other grandparents help/enabling to fix her car or trade it in for Cash for Clunkers program and get a new car. You are doing good. Keep it up. What would she do if you were not there? She'd figure a way which is what she can do now.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:25 PM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • That's right! Enable your other two kids instead! Gads, I went through this crap with my mom! She wouldn't help out my sister, but she helped out the two boys tons! Figures!
    Starfire73

    Answer by Starfire73 at 6:52 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • Just tell her you do what you can do for her and for your other kids, and you are glad that she is getting help from her baby's other grandparents. Then let it go, do what you think is right and try not to let it come between you and your daughter and your grandchild. Maybe you are wishing you could do more? Maybe you are feeling a little threatened by the fact that she is seeing them more and they are giving her more than you are comfortable giving her.... That would be natural. Just don't let it interfere with your relatioship. If she says anything, tell her directly how you feel but try not to be defensive or mean about it. Just stick to the facts....and remind her that you love her and the baby.
    BJoan

    Answer by BJoan at 11:25 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

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