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What Should This Girl Do?

A boy and a girl met and fell in love. The two got engaged...and several months lady, the girl became pregnant. The boy and girl were young, and lived with their parents....after the baby was born, the boy and girl, who had never lived away from home, moved in together, and spent a month living together before the boy broke up with the girl...because the boy and girl were stressed with work (the boy), parenthood, and their lack of communication. Not knowing what to do, the girl went home to her parents for a few days to clear her head, and when she came back, the boy broke up with her, saying he wanted time to think about everything, and that he thought they needed time apart to determine if things would change. The boy told the girl he wanted to be single for now, and to start out as friends with the girl with the goal of getting back together. What I'm wondering is, do you think they will get back together? Can they be just

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:41 PM on Aug. 4, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Friends for now, or will the feelings they still have for each other get in the way? * a bit more to add....boy tells girl he still loves her, compliments her body and appearance saying she looks good, and tells her he still misses her. He comes to visit their baby every day, but only plays with their baby for a few minutes, and stays for hours at a time, even if the baby is sleeping...so that it is just he and her sitting on the couch watching tv.....what should the girl do? Does it seem to anyone else like the guy is confused? Also, does anyone think that he has realized his mistake and wants her back?*
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:42 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • I think he may never have wanted to lose her, but is stressed and can't figure out how to manage all of it. I think the girl should, if she still loves him, give him some time to figure all this out.
    Petie

    Answer by Petie at 1:46 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • Times are hard no matter what the age, I would encourage them to seek counseling, if the two can not make it they most likely would not have made it this long, without the commitment of marriage it is so easy to just walk away but the child can't... goal setting, time management, personal space and job duties all fell on the kids parents they lived in I would say and now that they must assume ALL adult responsibilities it is overwhelming … cooking, cleaning, childcare, money… you name it these are the real issue, they can’t clear their head of it when they don’t face it… encourage them to get help and make an effort for their child, if it is to be it will, if not let then end on a good note for the child’s sake… good luck
    BlessingsBegin

    Answer by BlessingsBegin at 1:52 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • What if the girl gives him time and he decides he doesn't want to be with her after all? The girl doesn't think this is going to happen, because she thinks by the way he is acting he still loves her, but she can't be sure...is she (me, of course), just bias because she's in this situation?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:53 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • If you give it time and he decides thatt he doesn't want to be with you, then you move on. He sounds immature and like he doesn't want to grow up. You might be waiting a long long time for him to make a real decision.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 1:58 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • Having a family and the responsibility of it is a major thing not to mention the economy sucks right now. Time will tell if he wants his family back but don't get your hopes up, just take it one day at a time and see how it goes. There is no rush to decide.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:05 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • Is appears as if the "boy and girl" are young- I could be wrong. First thing first. There is a baby to be concerned with. You CANNOT control or change people. EVER. The reason he spend a little time with the baby and then time with you watching tv. is simply out of his feelings of obligation. That isn't a bad thing. Obligation could keep a father in your child's life. Assuming of course that he is an appropriate type of person for your child to be around. Spending time with you should be on YOUR schedule NOT his. Waiting around for him will get you nowhere fast. You'll be living your life around his terms while he comes and goes as he pleases. Take care of you and the baby first. He is secondary. In other words- get on with your life. There is a good chance this is about not being sure he wants the full time stress of a relationship and family. That is something no body can change except him and it can't be forced.
    Traxx

    Answer by Traxx at 2:05 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • If "boy" was sure he regretted leaving he would have said so. Unfortunatly for you and other women in the same possition- things are tough and he's the one with the option to leave or come and go. He's chosen to use this option and reality says there is a slim chance he'll be back for good. Make a life for you and the baby. Hope and encourage "boy" to be a part of his child's life but don't set your hopes and dreams that everything will get "fixed". Try to the point of still being healthy for you and the child but allowing the "not sure" to go on for more than a month is no longer healthy and it's time to build your lives without him being there on a full time basis.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:14 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • Well if boy and girl BOTH want to be together then they both have to work at it. I think they should sit down and be honest with each other and talk about their relationship. How can we get back together? What do we have to do to make this work? I also think that couples counseling would be a good idea too.
    Good luck- I hope everything works out!!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 2:40 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

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