Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I want to know ... your answer

Get out or stay...
The benefits of me staying:

1. Holiday… spending time with family, his family (I only do (did) this for our son NOT because I enjoy doing it! Family comes first… his family that is what he has always said.

2. Allowing him 2 controls everything… as small as, if I decided to sleep n pass 7:30Am on the weeks ends

3. get 2be the: Maid, Gardener, n Schedule doctor’s apts. for him .. Hading some of his person al things and be the Taxi Driver. ALL which are not wifely duties

4. Intercourse (sex/making love or which ever you prefer to use)… that I am shameful and feel that it is sinful. However half the time I DO NOT want him touching me!
5. I am sorry to say however; it has been 4 weeks, that I have been sleeping in the gust room.
6. I did not plan on this happening it just did, i do not know what is the nest step for our marriage (this marriage)

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:24 PM on Aug. 4, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (9)
  • Honey it is good that you are comparing the good and the bad. I really did write down a pros and cons list before I chose to get a divorce. Only you will know what you can live with, but a husband is supposed to be a partner. It is give and take,,,,he is not supposed to rule over your every move. it is notshameful to stand up for yourself. you have one life and you deserve to live it happily. Keep talking Honey and get stronger. In time you will have your answers in your heart ;)
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 2:28 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • This isn't a question and it's been asked at least twice before. These are not "benefits" of staying. You know what you need to do, so do it. Enough ppl have answered this to let you know what others think. Now figure it out on your own.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:28 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • That benefits list is rather small. I would of course suggest counseling first but if he isn't up for it, or you SINCERELY feel it would do no good, then you already KNOW the next step.
    KristiS11384

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 2:30 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • If this is the same poster that has been asking this on more than one occasion, you seem to already know your answer in your heart and are just looking for someone to agree with you.

    My answer would be to talk to him and tell him you want to see a marriage counselor because you are worried that as a couple you don't see eye to eye on anything anymore.
    KeishaJL

    Answer by KeishaJL at 2:37 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • No one can answer your heart for you.
    I would suggest some real Christian counseling with or without him going.
    No one can make you do anything that you yourself do not allow.
    Being submisssive does not mean lowering yourself to a level that makes you feel dirty and ashamed or that you are sinning.
    Why jump right into divorce? First try..."I am a grown up and I refuse to do your bidding."
    It really is quite simple.
    We allow things to continue when we never say no and mean exactally that.
    Try it; it does work.
    I finally did after 10 years of hell. It really did change. Now the last 23 years are right and good.
    I will be praying for you and you can PM me if you just need to talk or vent.
    bloodbought

    Answer by bloodbought at 2:48 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • Ok, you have three options here. One: you keep on the way you have been and stay miserable. Two: Talk to him and get counseling and then reevaluate after. And Three: pack you and your kids things and get out. The choice is up to you. None of us can tell you what to do or which will work best. You have to figure that out yourself.
    -Ashley
    spiritguide_23

    Answer by spiritguide_23 at 2:49 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • Are you a Christian?
    Shaneagle777

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 2:59 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • Serioulsy listen to your heart. If you are nothing but miserable leave. I agree with kristi on this one. But I think you already know the next step. You do need approval to leave a bad situation.
    2autisticsmom

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 6:31 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • These are not benefits--they're punishments! You KNOW what you should be doing. It's okay to be afraid, but you need to do what MUST be done. This is not a marriage--this is the master controlling his "slave".
    witchqueen

    Answer by witchqueen at 2:58 PM on Aug. 5, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN