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do we let him go or not??

my step son is 14 and we moved to a different city this past yr. he wants to go back to his old city to go to school. he has family there that want him to live there too. BUT...the only reason he wants to go back is bc he has a gf over there. they have been together for a yr. and they are up eachothers butt like I dunno what. I know he "loves " her. but my DH & I know his grades will drop again (the reason we moved in the 1st place) I really have no say so in the matter, but how do I convince my DH its a bad idea?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:28 PM on Aug. 4, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (9)
  • I say let your husband decide. Give your thoughts on the whole idea but leave it up to him. After all it is his son
    Morgan.

    Answer by Morgan. at 5:31 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • you moved just to get his grades up? whoops! that's a silly reason to move, ground him if his grades go down
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 5:33 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • agree with above, your def. entitled to your opinion but in the end up to him, i know how being taken from a familiar spot can feel from experience but my mom didnt let me go home, and i hated her for it.
    sweetstkissez22

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 5:33 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • They let my brother do that ( move back to be with his gf) and he knocked up his gf, messed up his baseball scholarship and it went to hell in a hand basket! But hey it isn't your kid, let your dh decide!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:39 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • I would not let him go. It sounds like it would be a good idea to keep them apart. It is a decision your husband has to make though.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:15 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • I would suggest to DH that he make a deal... the kid is only 14, so he stays with you and goes to school - if he gets reasonable grades, give him opportunities to see his old GF; if he can't be mature enough to get his school performance under control he certainly shouldn't be allowed privileges like seeing a GF. I'd suggest to DH to keep his son's long term interests in mind, and not make a decision just to keep the kid happy then and there... but it's up to DH.
    PhillyinFrance

    Answer by PhillyinFrance at 6:22 AM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • I'd let him go. Leaving friends isn't easy at his age. Tell him you'll try it and make it his choice. If he goes he has to raise his grades or he comes back where you are
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:01 PM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • This is ultimately in your husband's hands. If you moved because he was falling apart in school, why would you let him go back to go to school? He could tell him that "If and when his grades showed some improvement" that you would let him visit the girlfriend once in a while. Let the ball be in his court. grannywilson
    grannywilson

    Answer by grannywilson at 1:10 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • You don't. I hate to say it, but sometimes you gotta know your place. I'm sure you love and care for your step son, but this is a decision for his mother and father to make. Give your input to your husband, but then step back and support whatever decision is made.

    The plus side of that is if the choice they made doesn't work out, you won't be blamed for interfering or otherwise altering your husband's decision.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:20 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

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