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Who's unappreciated? Boy trouble

okay, so my bf of 5 years and I have an almost 4 month old and I stay home with her and he goes to work. He works all day in the heat (we live in Texas so its HOT). While I take care of our daughter ALLL day everyday, i also keep the house fairly clean and work from home when I get the chance (I work online and on the phone which I can only do when shes asleep or hes home to help.usually 2 hours daily) I was paying half the bills and helf the rent even tho i have to stay home with our daughter. He says that I dont do anything and that hes unappreciated. He works all day then takes care of our daughter for 2 hours max for me to work. we give her a bath and i put her to bed. then i cook us dinner and then clean up as much as possible while he watches tv and relaxes. i was still paying half of the bills while he just blows money i have no extra. we got into a fight and now he pays all the bills and i pay half the rent. IS IT FAIR

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:02 PM on Aug. 4, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • He probably feels that way because while he's out in the heat, you are at home. Home seems to equal no stress, a place to wind down, peace. He may not realize that you are also working ( a different kind of work) even though you are at the 'safe zone'.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 7:09 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • i have the same situation and my boyfriend has NEVER acted like that to me. He has no problem paying the bills and letting me stay home and I freaking love him for it. Make sure yours feels appreciated and tell him you would like the same respect from him and that he is hurting your feelings!!!

    Answer by staciandababy at 7:09 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • Guys are big babies! They just want to hear that they are doing a good job for what they are doing to support their family. Just tell him that you appreciate how he has to work in the heat all day to provide for his family and you appreciate all the help he does with your daughter. Guys just need to hear that stuff because it makes them feel better, it's like a reward for their hard work and for "giving up their life" so to speak. My husband wanted me to tell him how much I appreciate him for giving up his life to join the marines so we can care for our son (which now we have two) and he puts up with bs all day at work. It's pretty much the same thing. Just tell him that you are happy for what he has done for you and your baby.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:49 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • He claims that you do not do anything? Well, let's see, you are taking care of your daughter and the house plus you are cooking his dinner and paying for half the bills! Looks like you are contributing more than he is! Find out what it would cost to have all of these tasks done by an outside agency and present it to him, chances are good that you are putting in more than you are getting back from him. The problem with men is that they think women do not pull their own weight. He has one job and you have many. Where is his appreciation for what you are doing? If you compare your contribution to his, it looks as if you are more valuable than he is. Please do not be offended by my response, but women deserve appreciation for what they do. If you show him the cost of what these services would cost to be performed by an outside agency, I am sure he would never doubt your contributions again.

    Answer by Momof1015 at 9:37 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

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