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My husband & I just seperated. He thinks I should come home because we're hurting the kids and we can't work on saving our marriage if we're apart. I say we have to begin working on our marriage apart because all we were doing was fighting over everything; ugly fights. Should I move back in with him?

He was not paying rent or any bills & I began neglecting our home & kids as a result. I feel we need to deal with a few issues before we can live together again.

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:58 PM on Aug. 4, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Why wasn't he paying the bills?

    Answer by Momof1015 at 10:01 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • it will not get better with you there

    Answer by hottietottie455 at 10:02 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • Don't move back, he's being immature and selfish. So what if you're not there, he should still be able to pay the bills and work on your marriage.

    Answer by LilChynaDollie at 10:04 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • He just wasn't working. He would stay up late drinking then he wouldn't get up in the morning

    Answer by isabel8a1277 at 10:05 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • I see, I would not move back in until he gets his act together otherwise he will continue to take advantage of you by getting you to take care of everything so that he can continue drinking and being irresponsible.

    Answer by Momof1015 at 10:08 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • Tell him you'll come back when he makes some changes for the better and sticks to it. Tell him that HE was hurting the kids by neglecting the family and only thinking about himself. He's trying to guilt you into coming home, don't fall for it. This isn't your problem, it's his. Believe me, my dh is a recovering alcoholic, I know all the tricks they try to pull.


    Answer by Wifey2Watson at 10:08 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • That"s what I say that we need to get our acts together for the sake of ou children

    Answer by isabel8a1277 at 10:10 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • Sounds like he is really missing the financial support and is trying to guilt you into supporting him by using the kids. I'd tell him when he shows you that he can be a man and take care of his responsibilities to be a good stand up man and be a good example to the kids then you will start working on your marriage together under one roof. Until he starts working on himself the same problems will just keep going on, and you will start (if you haven't already) resenting him for not helping out and making you work harder. GL and I hope that he can get himself together and do some growing up so you guys can get to the point where working on your marriage is a productive thing.

    Answer by landensmommy411 at 10:19 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • in your shoes right now and i am doing apart for now no reason to live together, cause you will just go back to the old ways you know to change and work on you and he works on him apart thats how i feel if you wanna talk pm me..

    Answer by miss_nevin at 11:09 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

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