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I am so frustrated with our friends....what do you think? Are my thoughts irrational?

Our friends are good people...they just make bad decisions, and then instead of taking responsibility for their actions and learning from their mistakes, they whine and complain about it and continue to act completely on impulse. The wife just got done complaining to me (AGAIN) that they have no money to pay bills...rent included...but yet, they always have TONS of alcohol and smokes and "toys". Not long ago they had to file bankruptcy and it seems like they are headed down the path to financial ruin again. I genuinely feel for them and hate to see them stressed, but I have no real sympathy when they put themselves into this position. Am I wrong to be unsympathetic? I cannot give them money to help, we squeak by monthly, but we go without extras when needed...and I wouldn't want to give handouts to someone that is not going to change their ways. Is that terrible of me? I love them to death, I am just at loss and am confused.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:53 PM on Aug. 4, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (3)
  • My friend is the same and puts her kids in private school and had to yank them out, bought a country club membership and had to give it up. I told my friend to get a job. It's ridiculous and irresponsible, no wonder you aren't sympathetic.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 10:57 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • I wouldn't feel bad for them either. We hit a really big rough patch in 07 so we sold our house, moved into a cheap apartment, we stopped shopping unless needed and when we did shop we didn't buy anything designer, we gave up everything that put us in that bad financial situation. Nobody helped us and our friends didn't feel bad for us. Why should they? It was our own fault we got into the mess. I'm so glad it's over now, but it did make us wiser.

    If I was you I would just try changing the subject when she talks about money. It really isn't a good idea to talk to friends or complain to friends about money regardless the situation. Just start changing the subject and sooner or later she will get the hint. Oh and don't worry about their money problems, sooner or later they will have to make some changes and then they will be fine! Good luck
    theutilitarian

    Answer by theutilitarian at 11:01 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

  • I agree with you
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:41 PM on Aug. 4, 2009

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