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Concerned parent of 17 yr old pregnant daughter

I am very concerned about my 17 yr old daughter. She just took 2 pregnancy tests with both being a positive result. Her father has had custody of her for the past 2 yrs and she is scared to death to tell him, I have tried talking her into writing him a letter or even I myself telling him but she begs me not to. Her father is a very abusive man, physically, in the past and mentally, now. She doesnt want to tell him until she turns 18 which will be in the beginning of October but I KNOW she needs to be seen by a doctor ASAP. I am so scared for my daughter but i know that her not having medical care for another 2 months is very harmfull to the baby. I am so torn I just dont know what to do or where to turn. I want her to take her to planned parenthood but I not having custody of her, I just dont know how they would react to that. PLEASE HELP.

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:38 AM on Aug. 5, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (17)
  • You don't need permission to go to planned parent hood

    Answer by madsmom314 at 12:40 AM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • If the father is abusive why does he have custody?? I think at age 16 the child can choose who they can live with. But in the mean while she is with you take her to planned parenthood or to a local clinic to get checked out.

    Answer by jedwards2009 at 12:41 AM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • she is almost 18, if you take her to planned parenthood they aren't going to say anything to him about it. and if he is abusive i would tell her to go to a lawyer (a D.A. or a lawyer she picks out that you will eventually pay for) and talk to them. maybe she can get it changed so she can live w/you for the next few months. she doesn't have to tell him anything if she doesn't want to, she can take herself to a planned parenthood office, you could meet her there is she doesn't want to go alone, but that way you didn't physically take her if that is an issue.

    Answer by vabchmommy at 12:41 AM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • Why can't she go to the doctor and not tell him? Why can't she move in with you? Why does she live with him if he's abusive?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:41 AM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • Well if she is 17 she can go and I don't think it will really matter if you have full custody of her or not. That and if she wants to wait for a couple months then maybe the best thing to do is to get prenatal vitamins for her to at least take and to try and keep from her dad. She does need to be seen by a doctor though as soon as possible, but be careful. You don't want your daughters safety or the baby's safety put in jeopardy. Good luck hon. I hope all turns out well.

    Answer by Bamzakarat at 12:42 AM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • There is no NEED to be seen by a health professional unless there are issues (bleeding, extreme vomiting or loss of weight, etc). If everything is progressing normally, it will be okay to wait a little longer if that is what she wishes to do. It will not be detrimental to the fetus at all.

    Answer by NDFanatik at 12:42 AM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • I'm surprised to hear that you don't have full custody of her considering he's abusive, but I guess that's not the question.
    Just take her to planned parenthood. Everything will be confidential. Good luck!

    Answer by theutilitarian at 12:43 AM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • Why would an abusive parent have custody? She can take herself to planned parenthood or birthright and they can help. She also has the right to choose where she wants to live...usually they are able to do that at age 14. I do not know your situation with her or why she is not with you, and I am not trying to bash at all, so please don't take it that way. Take her to planned parenthood and get her to the doctor, it is what is best for her and the baby. As for her dad, can you try to speak to him at all?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:44 AM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • At my hospital they don't even see you until 12 weeks unless you're considered high risk or start bleeding... just have her take her prenatals and she will be fine until october

    Answer by pookipoo at 12:44 AM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • There is no NEED to be seen by a doctor........ WTF???????????????

    GREAT ADVICE, way to go. Pregnancy should be monitored and the mother taken care of to make sure there are no complications and both are healthy. We are not in the stone age anymore.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:46 AM on Aug. 5, 2009

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