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Would you buy someone this many gifts? Or is she right to expect them?

Well two weeks ago I went to a friends wedding (two weeks before that I went to her bridal shower). The day after her wedding she announces she is pregnant and that her shower for that will be in about a month. I dont know if I want to go, this WAS a PLANNED pregnancy and I think it is rude to expect people to buy wedding gifts and then a few months later baby gifts also. Would you go, or am I over reacting? She just expects everyone to go to all these events back to back...UGH!!! I really couldnt afford the gifts I did get her and I am also pregnant with my own child due a week after her..

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:23 AM on Aug. 5, 2009 in Money & Work

Answers (7)
  • She just announced she is pregnant and having a baby shower? That's crazy because it sounds like she is planning her own baby shower. If you want to give her a gift you can wait till the baby is born to give your pocket a break.


    Answer by Anonymous at 7:45 AM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • A wedding is a special occation and deserves a gift...
    A baby is a special occation and also deserves a gift...

    No matter how close they are, they are seperate events and should be treated as such. Hell, I was 6 months pregnant when I got married. (Feb) My baby shower was a few months later, after my son was born (June) The same people were invited and came. The have nothing to do with one another and as a friend, you sould be there.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 8:54 AM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • I don't know that it's particularly wrong, but if she knew she was pregnant, she could have done a joint wedding/baby shower so people could get one gift or another rather than both. Also, it's proper ettiquete to only get on gift for the wedding, so if she had a bridal shower and received gifts, she shouldn't get gifts from those people at the wedding.

    Also, you don't have to go overboard on the price of the gift. A small item for the wedding and one outfit for the baby is reasonable.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:38 AM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • This is why we had a very small wedding and refused showers. We never wanted gifts and certainly never wanted anyone to feel obligated to spend money on us.

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:48 AM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • If your strapped for cash check out the clearance aisles now for a cute outfit or bathing suit for next summer!

    Answer by warrenfamily95 at 10:05 AM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • The bridal shower and the baby shower are two different occasions, they should be treated as such. My daughter had a Graduation party and 8 months later had a baby shower.
    And my son had a Graduation party too, and 2 months before that we held a baby shower for his girlfriend. We didn't plan these events to be this close together, they just happened that way. LOL Also one month after my son's Graduation party, we had a baby shower for my daughter's 2nd baby. I know all of these events were so close together, but the tacky people that did not want to come to these events, well that's their loss. But we celebrated each important event for our children and grandchildren, without many guests. I will remember the ones who never showed up for my events when they have events and go to inviting people.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:46 AM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • I think it's a bit rude. depending on how far apart the showers are [bridal and baby]
    because if it's close together, what makes her think people have the money to buy such things. She should expect not that many gifts when the baby shower comes because not everyone can afford it

    Answer by kittenripmaygo at 6:06 AM on Aug. 6, 2009

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