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My son is 17 months and wont hold my hand or stay with me?

I want to let him walk but every time i do he runs for the road or something...did anyone else have this problem? He will hold my hand sometimes but only until he sees something he wants to touch.

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Asked by Rebecca25 at 8:51 AM on Aug. 5, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 8 (270 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • You hold HIS hand. And you teach him that's just non negotiable. I used to tell my kids you can walk holding my hand, or I can carry you (or you can ride in the stroller). If they tried to run away, then i carried them (or put them in the stroller). They learned that was the consequence pretty quickly - it's a safety issue and you have to be able to keep him with you.
    I guess they do have those backpack leashes, but we never had to end up using them. I guess it would be better to use one of those than have your child hurt. But - if I were going to have them wear one I would still be holding their hand so they learn to hold hands in parking lots, etc and just have the "leash" as a backup.

    Answer by missanc at 8:57 AM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • He should not be the one deciding whether he will or will not hold your hand. You do whatever you must in order to teach him that he is not in control, but that you are and that he will do what you say. If that means a spanking, then you give him one. The most important lesson you will ever teach your child is that he is not in control and that he is to submit to the authority of his elders. The earlier you start that process, the more peaceful will be your life and the fewer problems you will have later on.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:02 AM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • It's an independence thing, I went through it with both of mine and am doing the same with the stepboys. The way I've handled it is sort of the same as is non-negotiable, but I'm sneaky about it. They've been told that they have to hold my hand so that "I" don't get hurt walking along the road, or in the parking lot. The other thing is to let them see something that got run over, I know it can be pretty gross, but letting them see it and telling them that that is what happens if a car hit them will sometimes scare them into it.
    We've used the leashes too, they do work well. A lot of the time ours will put them on by themselves and wait to be zipped up.

    Answer by daisy521 at 9:24 AM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • I agree with NannyB!!! You are letting him manipulate you. His safety should be a non-negotiable. You hold his hand and if he tries to pull away from you, he gets a spanking, end of story.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:27 AM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • while I don't believe in spanking. . . I agree with NannyB & Annon 9:27. . . My son (21 months old) loves to walk instead of ride in the stroller. . . He is told to hold my hand or the stroller or he rides. . . If he lets go then in the stroller he goes kicking and screaming. . . Now is the time to start setting limits. . . they don't understand action/consequence yet but now is the time to start with the important things. . . safety. Good luck

    Answer by chrissmom734 at 2:51 PM on Aug. 5, 2009

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