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40, re-married, oldest graduating in 4 short years :-(

Looking for advice on those who have "been there". Feeling "anxiety" a bit. My whole life has been devoted to my 2 daughters and my oldest has 4 more yrs of school, my youngest has 6 and my SS has 9 more years. I am re-married for past 3yrs and since I turned 40, I have been feeling more than a little anxious. I work full time, but that does not seem to be fullfilling me. At best it keeps my time occupied during the day. I think the "unknown" is scaring me the most and I'm a planner, so not knowing how plans will go is making me anxious. Any advice appreciated.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:09 PM on Aug. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • geez, you are worrying way too soon. Check back with us in 9 yrs

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:43 PM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • Maybe you need to talk to a counselor or therapist about how you are feeling. It sounds very non-specific - your anxieties. Like you are waiting for something to happen. You are married, you are employed, your children are young and still in school. You don't really say what it is that is bothering you. Maybe you are going through some sort of depression or perhaps just turning 40 is a huge milestone, your subconscious is trying to sort things out in the meaning of where you are in your life. For me - 40 was no big deal. But when I became 48, it really hit me that this was it. A little time left of my youth. If I wasn't living my life's dream now - I would never again have the chance.

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 8:25 PM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • Find God. LOL. He seems to be a cure all for a lot of people.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:30 PM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • You need a hobby or an interest. Like take a class, volunteer or do something new.

    I am 35 and I am sort of going through the same thing. Though in my case, my worry is what my DH and I are going to do after our kids leave. Can we survive, just as a couple? We've never really done that before. We dated for 5 months, got engaged, four months after that I got pregnant and then a month after our son was born we got married. So we never had that newlywed phase of just us. In my case I am hoping to find something that interests both my DH and I.

    Answer by Lesli at 12:22 AM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • I forgot to mention both my parents are passed away. My mom being the most recent passed away 4 short years ago and was a huge source of strength for me. Maybe just knowing my husband is "it" for me when my kids move up and out to start their own lives. And by the way, I very much do have God in my life.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:41 AM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • Also need to add: I have always had a desire to live in a different state than the one I've been in my entire life. Funny thing though: my mom convinced me not too when I was in college, then I married my first H and he never even wanted to move out of the small community we lived in, let alone out of state. Then my second husband said he'll never leave the area where we live, and he didn't even grow up in this community. I feel like my wishes are not being heard, and maybe I'm feeling stifled or told what to do by the people who love me. A huge reason I've always wanted to move out of this state is that it's too expensive, and the weather doesn't have a change of seasons which is what I would enjoy having. So, maybe I am depressed cause I feel "stuck". I will not get a divorce from a wonderful man in my life, just because he doesn't want to move out of state. So I don't know what that leaves me with.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:48 AM on Aug. 6, 2009

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