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putting your child in a "home"

Would you put your child in a caring home facility if they were disabled.. and felt you no longer could 'care' for them?

Would you feel okay with his idea? Or feel like you somehow failed as a parent to your disabled child?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:03 PM on Aug. 5, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (8)
  • I would feel like I failed as a parent. I would try to avoid that at all costs.
    I would either have a nurse come to MY house and help me aid for my baby or go to classes to teach me.
    I would HATE myself if I sent my child away

    Answer by Lovin_mybaby5 at 10:05 PM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • I guess it would depend on the age of the child and the disabilities they had. Honestly, I'd probably keep them home until they were an adult and then transition them to a group home or some sort of supported living situation. I don't even know if there are many "homes" like the ones you are talking about any more. There is a lot more support for parents who want to keep their kids at home than their used to be, along with a lessening of the stigma attached to having a disabled child.

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 10:06 PM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • I used to work in the administrative offices for a nonprofit that did this sort of thing. As disabled children get older they have a need for independence. These homes can be very empowering and can be a place for disabled individuals to really thrive. No one should ever feel like a failure if they are doing what is best for their child. letting go is hard for any parent, it's no different than when a child goes away to college or gets their first apartment. It's our job as parents to teach our children to be independent and productive members of society.

    Answer by beckcorc at 10:08 PM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • I think it would depend on the situation.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:08 PM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • It would depend on the situation, and I would have to be VERY sure...but maybe.

    My aunt was born with problems...she was able to walk and stand as a young child, but always had coordination issues, around the age of 8 or so, she became incapable of standing...Dr's wanted to bring her to a major city to live in a care home to do constant rehab with her. They believed they could help her stand and use her hands better as well.

    Her father was VERY backwoods and couldnt read. He said "no child of his would live away from him in a fancy city" So she didnt go.....she never did walk again and her hands became so shriveled that she had to have someone feed her.

    If only he had allowed this treatment maybe she wouldnt have been so bad....

    Sometimes, for the good of the child....a parent must let go....and deny their own feelings of being overprotective. It would be tough...and would require MUCH thought...but if they needed it...

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 10:08 PM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • Personally, i could NOT do that. I have a son who was born with Down Syndrome and would feel like i failed as a parent if i put him in a home. It is a big comitment to raise a special needs child but he is MY child and i am willing to do whatever it takes to make sure he gets the best chance at life. I hope one day he will become a sucessful adult. At least if i raise him i know i have done the best job to give him that chance.
    I would not look down on anone for placing their child in a home either. What i do is my choice and what i can handle. Everyone is different in what they can deal with. My grandma placed my special needs unlce who was MR in a home, but that was because she and my grandpa were business owners and that was what was considered "normal" back when my uncle was young.

    Answer by team21 at 10:34 PM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • my 15 month old, has seizures, can't walk,crawl or set alone, and is blind, for me i couldn't put him anywhere, he is my koko crispy all three of my kids are my plride and joy, but each mother is diffrent, as we all know, hell some idiot mothers drown thier kids or decapitate thiers like the sick women in sanantonio texas, but some moms need to put them some where, but their are people who can help you in your home.

    Answer by Ashlee0323 at 12:28 AM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • Well, it would depend on the severity of the disability. I think that having someone come into your home would be so much better. As they get older helping them transition to a more independent environment. Thats not a bad thing.

    Answer by momofsaee at 7:37 AM on Aug. 6, 2009

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