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What discipline works for parents of adoptive children who have fas/and add,adhd,and odd?

Ages are soon to be eleven years old. What do you do to regain the positive in your life??

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Asked by STRESSOLDMOM at 10:21 PM on Aug. 5, 2009 in Adoption

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Answers (7)
  • You really need backup for this type of situation.

    Has he been tested...probably so at his age.

    Does he have any therapists or behavioral therapists who help him? There are plenty out there and a lot of the time, it is free, state funded.

    Is he on medicine? Not saying he should be, thats a personal decision, but maybe something would help him struggle though this.

    I think with as many issues as he has going on, plain old fashioned discipline wouldnt help need back up !!! ;)

    If you dont have that right now, start with his pediatrician, they should be able to get you started.

    Good luck!

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 10:31 PM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • The Applied Behaviorial Therapy method works pretty well with some children. You seek behavioral therapy to help you help your son.

    Answer by dstoeck at 11:23 PM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • I don't know if a "book" or "pat answer" is going to help you with that many issues. Each disorder has it's own "dynamics" and effects each child/parent relationship differently. I would suggest getting a counselor for both you & your child to help you find what works for your child the best. Also, get yourself a support group and find someone who can give you a couple of hours break here & there. You should have access to post-adoptive respite care thru your agency or the state, whichever you went thru. More than anything, YOU need to be rested and refreshed occasionally to keep going. It's going to be a long, hard road, but you can do it, as long as you take care of you. If you don't, who will take care of your child? I hope this helps!

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 9:54 AM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • look for a therapist that specializes in the special issues of adoptees.

    Answer by onethentwins at 4:43 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • I personally have always been a big fan of CBT in combination with filial play therapy for that particular age group.  As well as family therapy, group (social skills training) and psychoeducational material available.  The thing I like best for this group is Love and Logic.  By the book.  It is wonderful, simple, and easy to implement.  However, the book is not to be a substitute for therapeutic services but it certainly is a good start for parent and child coaching.  It gives you a philosophy to work with.  A diagnosis of ADHD and/or ODD does not mean it is directly related to adoption issues.  What that means is that adoption issues can complicate  those things.  I always hestitate to even use ODD - it often strikes me as a catch all.  Typically anxiety/depression are the backbone of what we call oppositional features in children this age.  Especially with a diagnosis of ADHD. 


    Answer by frogdawg at 9:49 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • Anixety and depression are comorbidities of ADHD. If this child has experienced trauma then what happens is that ODD features can present like PTSD. It is a VERY common occurance. I would suggest finding a therapist who is experienced in working with children who are living with ADHD and the rest will fall into place. Finding support groups is a plus for parents. And of course I never rule out early on set of juvenile bipolar disorder when features of ODD present with ADHD concurrently. It is really very complicated. What seem "simple" to some is very difficult in reality. A therapist and a psychiatrist is the route I would take if this were my child.

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:53 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • What worked best for my daughter was to focus on the positive and not the negative. When she was young she got a sticker chart. We started out small so if she got 3 out of 7 days she got something out of the trasure box. It started out with not hitting her sisters and moved on to other behaviors. It was visual which helped her to see it each day. Also we also made a "grand" prize in that if she got 15 by the end of the month we went to the movie's, park, etc. Her choice.

    We still did timeouts but those got fewer and fewer as the positive behavior was reinforced.

    Answer by baconbits at 1:44 PM on Aug. 7, 2009

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