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Why do I feel like I am interrupting something when I call my son?

No matter when I call him, day or evening, it's like we are forcing ourselves to chat.So I started just waiting for him to call me. He does and the conversation is a bit better but when he has to call me, it may take him over a month. We were calling each other on an average of once a week. Sometimes, we would be on the phone with each other for a couple of hours. Now, when he calls, we are never on the phone over 15 to 20 minutes. Is this normal or should I worry if there is a problem.

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sugarbritches57

Asked by sugarbritches57 at 11:37 PM on Aug. 5, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

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Answers (9)
  • Sounds pretty normal to me.
    NannyTracy

    Answer by NannyTracy at 11:43 PM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • Maybe. When I was in college & my mom called me, we didn't talk for too long. And I rarely called her. Most of the time I was partying...socializing between classes, drinking, doing work, at work, etc. I stayed in a lot of trouble, but a not enough for her to worry about it. I most of the time told her what was going on. I went a week w/o talking to her once.

    Let him live his live & be on his own. If you seriously have a bad feeling, then investigate. Otherwise, you're being overbearing.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 PM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • That's normal. I talk to my mom once a day atleast and there are times (no offense) that I hate it. She is definitely overbearing, sometimes she'll call twice or 3 times a day! Usually I'm very short with her and aggravated because I don't want to talk but I do anyway so I don't worry her. If I call her though, the conversations go MUCH better because I have more to say and I'm actually engaged in the conversation. I don't think your son is doing anything questionable.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 11:52 PM on Aug. 5, 2009

  • Did you really want your parents bugging you at that age? Let him have a life and he'll come to you when he's ready.
    tcarter1981

    Answer by tcarter1981 at 12:18 AM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • Sounds normal and if you keep forcing the issue it will get even more uncomfortable. You know the old saying about setting them free and if they come back to you they were yours and if they don't they never were.
    Waxing_Lyrical

    Answer by Waxing_Lyrical at 1:00 AM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • What about e-mailing? Now that I'm older I talk more frequently on the phone with my mum but when I was in my early 20's and living away from home it wasn't very often.
    I was off "finding myself" or whatever it is we do at that age, ha ha ha!

    It was more convenient for me to e-mail my mum because I could do it at any time and I didn't have roommates waiting for the phone or overhearing any of my conversation.

    Maybe your son doesn't want to talk when there are other people around and if he's away at college then there are ALWAYS other people around.

    Try sending e-mails back and forth and setting aside a time once a month to have a phone call or something.

    Chances are if you're willing to give him some space now, you and he will have a better relationship later because of it.
    Laila-May

    Answer by Laila-May at 11:29 AM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • Some people just dont' like chatting on the phone.. I am one of those people, even with my mom before she passed away she would call me or when I would call her we would talk for a couple of minutes and then it'd just be dead silence because I really had nothing to talk about.
    KalebsMommee

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 11:39 AM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • If it's an adult situation, the more you push--the more they push away.  It's worse if he's in a relationship. 


    I'd say let him call you and give a reasonable amount of time you will allow (one month, six weeks, etc.)  Leave a POSITIVE message. 


    Personal experience here- My roomie didn't call his mother once a week like she expected.  She left messages, he ignored.  She left meaner messages, he ignored.  She blamed the people he lived with (cause it COULDN'T be her child ignoring her) and sent them nasty letters in the mail.  He ignored.  My point is----let him go, he'll call you.

    ChiefChic

    Answer by ChiefChic at 2:06 PM on Aug. 7, 2009

  • Sounds pretty normal. Guys do not chat like women on the phone. Best to visit for those long heart to hearts.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:31 PM on Aug. 17, 2009

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