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Did you ever stay with someone that mistreat them?

I always hear and read about about abusive relationships. Have you ever stayed? I'd like to understand why....Care to share your story?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:22 AM on Aug. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Yes i stayed...my husband used to be abusive...maybe he can be still in SOME ways...hes very verbally blunt...hes only laid his hands on me twice, and both times i was up in his face...we did break up for a complete year...the reason i think we stuck it out as long as we have (we have been together for 13 years) is that we have grown together...he was VERY young and immature when i met him and he had alot of serious growing up to do...luckily its worked out! yes he still has his moments of complete and utter a..holeness.....but its alot fewer than it used to be...and i know i probably do too. But he hasnt layed a finger on me in anger in over 6 years...we both know what happened was a mistake and are dealing with it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:37 AM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • YesI have stayed, I mean we have 2 children and 1on the way, who else would want me? If they do it's only for one thing. Its so hard with guysthese days. I have tryed toput myself out there but I always fail. David has only hit me 3 times and 2 of those times I was prob. diserved it for the way that I was treating him, but there was one time that I know I didn't diserve the abuse and I called the cops. He had to do alcohol and durg rehab. You know, recently I had someone wish on me that that happens again. Yeah, a low blow and It hurt. Almost as much as the bottle to the face hurt.
    I don't know why I stay mostly for the kids and I dont think I can make it with out him! Its a awfull feeling those two butt I am not in high school, I have a family. I have to do whats best for it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:19 AM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • Yes I have before. My husband hit me twice...in the same day. We had been married for 6 years at the time and he had never hit me before and hasn't hit me since. So while everyone else would say "GET OUT" I knew him better and knew that it was wrong of him but that it wouldn't happen again. We are now getting a divorce but for different reasons.

    I was also with an abusive boyfriend before and I was so enthralled with him that his abuse was somewhat dramatic and exciting. I was young, I was 17 he was 24. But it was a new kind of thing and I was head of heels for him. I think it was just something that brought excitement at the time...an immature relationship feeling that kept me with him until he left me. LOL crazy right?
    munch12502

    Answer by munch12502 at 10:41 AM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • I left after seven years. Things slowly degenerated over that time period, going from verbal abuse to hard-core physical abuse, but I stayed because I was afraid and I felt like Anonymous 7:19 up there; unwantable and like I deserved it somehow. Nobody deserves to have the unborn child kicked out of them, nobody deserves to be choked and nearly drowned, nobody deserves to have bleach poured down her throat, nobody deserves to have to have her jaw wired shut AGAIN, nobody deserves to have each one of the fingers on her left hand broken in succession, nobody deserves to be sodomized with the handle of a tennis racket, nobody deserves to wake up covered with lighter fluid with someone standing at the foot of the bed holding a lit match. Nobody deserves that. I left in an ambulance and I never went back because someone finally managed to get through to me that nobody deserves that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 AM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • Yes I stayed a long time but it was for many stupid reasons. 1) I thought I loved him 2) I was determined not to have a divorce since it was my second marriage 3) I thought all families had "rough times" 4) I thought I wasn't experienced enough to be a good wife and needed to do better ....blah blah blah. I used every excuse to stay not to mention we had 3 kids. I didn't have my degrees then and he would not pay child support if I left. I did try leaving many times and abusers don't like that! He dragged me back many times. He beat up anyone who befriended me. Anyway, I finally got away but it took yrs to get out and stay out. I was thrilled when he remarried but he still didn't leave me alone so I had to move 3 states away to find peace.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:05 AM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • So anon 10:42, why did you stay through all that horrible stuff? And the hospital didn't report all those incidents? Cops didn't come? I don't get it. I feel horrible for what you went thru, but why?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:13 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • I have never been in an abusive relationship but think that all of you who have been through such horrible things and finally managed to leave are EXTREMELY STRONG WOMEN!! I think it's awesome you found the strength and courage to get out of those relationships!!! You all definitely deserve to be treated SO much better! I just wanted to let you all know that! And for those of you who were able to work things out, that's great...sounds like you let them know you weren't going to put up with that bull shit and that's awesome!
    landons.mama

    Answer by landons.mama at 6:30 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

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