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Should I be worried about my Tween?

I have a son that turns 12 in Sept. At his May physical, his doctor advised me it was time to have "the talk" with him which we did. Since then, he's been caught with porn magazines he's talking from family members houses 3 different times now. It's starting to freak me out in a way, like I'm thinking, is my son a freak? Is my son a weirdo?? Because we have a very normal house hold so it's not like he's been exposed to these things so where's this obsession of his coming from? Or is it an obsession? Maybe this is normal?? I need some advise or just to hear other parents are going through this with me...please...I want to add it's hard porn..not your simple Playboy...

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nofriesleon

Asked by nofriesleon at 7:58 AM on Aug. 6, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Normal, BUT I would most definitely explain porn industry. The false illusion of it all and unfortunately how so many men become addicted to FANTACY world of pornography. This could happen to anyone and there needs to be limits to everything in life before it takes control over ones reality and gets out of hand.


    Mother of a 14 yr old son here,lol!

    Mother_2_Three

    Answer by Mother_2_Three at 8:20 AM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • I agree for your concern. It should not go unnoticed. I would ask any of the male family members in those homes where the magazines came from if they talked to your son about sex without your consent. If they did it has now opened a whole new perspective for him that you were not prepared for. That was wrong on their part. Has you DH/SO had another talk with your son that you weren't aware of?

    My concern would be not that he is curious about sex but about him having sex well before he is ready to or getting someone pregnant/contracting a disease. Your concern is not without merit.
    lilbit022009

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 8:20 AM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • Where is he getting the porn??
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:00 AM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • ENOUGH! GET IT TOGETHER, I AM SORRY BUT PLEASE! GET IT TOGETHER! your acvtions, are stupid, take everything away, TALK to him, and stop treating this situation like its going away. you are dumb. get it together as a parent, and stand up...



    ibd1997

    Answer by ibd1997 at 9:42 AM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • I think the porn came from a family member's house. As for someone else having the sex talk with him, that hasn't happened because I had that talk with him, before the magazine issue, as advised from his doctor. ibd1997 - what and I'm doing that's stupid & dumb? I AM punishing him along with taking alot of action so your response confused me a little. The reason for this post was to see if other moms are going through the same thing and hear how others are or would handle it. If you have any other good advise, please let me know. Thanks everyone!
    nofriesleon

    Answer by nofriesleon at 10:07 AM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • I would say that he's a boy. Boys look at porn, whether it's "hard core" or not. They are learning about themselves and no I don't think he's a "weirdo" or abnormal. Actually it's completely normal. The problem here is that I didn't read anything about a male figure talking with him about it. That's what he needs. He needs to hear that, "Hey, we all go through this, don't feel awkward....." I mean, I would have hated it if my dad tried to tell me how to use a tampon! As for the women on here that have to berate and call names, grow up! It's MASTURBATION! At least he's not out getting a girl pregnant! And if you keep the masturbation closeted, that's what he's going to think he should be doing...."having sex = normal, masturbation = WEIRD!" Good luck!
    clhadley

    Answer by clhadley at 11:16 AM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • Thanks alot clhadley! Sorry I should have mentioned that yes my husband has talked to him with me present and also just the two of them without me present. With all the great feedback I'm receiving, I'm being to get what I wanted from this which is reassurance that I've taken the right steps....thankgoodness!
    nofriesleon

    Answer by nofriesleon at 11:32 AM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • I can't believe someone called you dumb. I'm so sorry. Disagreeing is one thing but calling you dumb? I for one don't think you are being dumb. Boys curiosity about this stuff runs a little different than girls from my experience. He may have been curious before the "talk" and now that that subject isn't taboo anymore used an opportunity to snag something inappropriate to satisfy some further curiosity or possibly hormones. Of course allowing him to keep the material wouldn't be appropriate and keeping the subject an open matter (with you and your husband) so he knows it's okay to talk to you about it could make a difference. He is a little young yet though so I would keep an eye out. The other thing you should do- talk to his doctor about this too. He can tell you what would be considered normal "range" for this and help with the "hormone" factor.

    Traxx

    Answer by Traxx at 1:13 AM on Aug. 7, 2009

  • he's a boy....curious boy...but nonetheless a boy...regardless if you and dh talked with him or not, he's curious...did you guys show him what a woman looks like nude? NO...so he's curious...did you guys discuss the act of sex with him and how it feels? I dont want to get too graphic but the child is curious...can't fault him for being human and you cannot punish him the wrong way for looking at porn because then you'll make him think that sex is dirty!!! You have to handle this the right way or the wrong results will arise...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 12:24 PM on Aug. 7, 2009

  • what who cares! boys will be boys. then again he is a bit young to be watching those types of films. find out where hes getting the movies from . And tell that person to stiop giving him those kinds of movies you dont like it. thats all. oh yeah you got explain to him why you dont like him watching those kinds of movies yet. too.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 3:04 PM on Aug. 7, 2009

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