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Have you ever wished that you could be the only parent?

I love my dear gentleman. He treats me well, and he is a good father. However, it seems that the older our daughter gets (she will be a year old in a few months) the more disagreements we have concerning our opposing viewpoints on parenting methods. I do not believe in spanking, whereas he believes that his former Navy SEAL step-father was right to make him cut his own switch; I am a vegetarian and feel that my children would be healthiest on such a diet; but he is a carnivore and thinks his kids (actually, just any future sons....what's with that?) should be too....etc, etc. I know it sounds awful, but sometimes I catch myself involuntarily daydreaming that I am a single mother that gets to make all of the parenting decisions. Please tell me that I am not the only one who has these thoughts!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:38 PM on Aug. 6, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • Yep i sure do. I feel like I get the best of both worlds now that I'm divorcing their dad. He gets them on the weekends so I have my free time, but I have them the majority of the time and my say goes.
    munch12502

    Answer by munch12502 at 12:39 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • Oh, I do not wish to leave her father. Perhaps what I really want is some dramatic change in him that causes him to suddenly see things from my point of view. :)
    EternalChild86

    Answer by EternalChild86 at 12:51 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • well you married him so didnt you know his views beforehand?just think about all the women who have husbands/baby daddies that dont care about their childrens well being even the wives well being i think you should lighten up a little and count your blessings?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:51 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • I'd much rather have disagreements on parenting than being a single mother.. Believe me, disagreements are alot easier to deal with than having to do everything alone. Don't EVER wish you were just a single parent. As for your "disagreements" that you mentioned they all can be worked out as the child gets older.. The discipline is a big one, that is something that maybe you should have discussed before you got married and had kids if it's that big of a deal. As for the child being a vegetarian or eating meat ultimately it should be the childs opinion once they are old enough to decide. You offer her what you like to eat and let daddy offer her what he likes to eat and then let her decide once she is old enough. He is the father after all and does deserve some say in how the child is raised. Just so happens you both disagree terribly.
    KalebsMommee

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 1:00 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • "Oh, I do not wish to leave her father. Perhaps what I really want is some dramatic change in him that causes him to suddenly see things from my point of view. :)"

    Why are you expecting him to change his views and see things YOUR way? Why can't you change your views and see things his way or better yet try to find some common ground to agree/disagree on. I know I will probably get bashed for saying it but just because you think his views are wrong doesn't make them wrong. He doesn't agree with yours just as much as you don't agree with his, you need to find common ground.
    KalebsMommee

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 1:01 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • You're going to have to compromise. Talk to him, figure out where you differ and come to terms on what you are both willing to give. For example: while you can have a healthy diety with or without meat, so you'll have to pick your battles. Do you really believe he has to go without meat, or can he have certain kinds? or amounts? etc.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:33 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • No your not alone. I love my husband with all my heart and he is an excellent father. But we have had clashes from time to time regarding parenting style; and my mind's wondered what it would be like without him. But these are passing thoughts. Considering the two of us are different people with different experiences it's bound to happen. You two will have have a discussion and come to a compromise.

    Dupgirl

    Answer by Dupgirl at 1:46 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • Yes, I do feel like that sometimes. My DH is one of the best father's around but sometimes I wish I didn't have to consult with him when making decisions. As a result = not something Im proud of or recommending = is that sometimes I don't tell him things so I can make the decision myself. But he is really lenient and letting me have the final say anyway when it comes to major things, and sometimes I just let some things slide. You have major disagreements so you 2 need to sit down and compromise. Maybe instead of your children being strictly a veggie, they can eat poultry and seafood only, as opposed to red meats, etc.


    Good luck!
    LadyEb

    Answer by LadyEb at 1:51 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • So far the only diasagreement me and my husband have about our views on parenting when our daughter is older is dating. :) But i think every father wants to keep their daughter away from boys until they"re 30.

    My best friend's husband is the same way so she and I have already agreed we'd have to sneak our daughters out and our husbands have agreed they'd be following the kids in a car to spy. Silly men.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:52 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • meet in the middle. you can reach "optimal"health with eating meat. any dietician/nutritionist will tell you that

    i would never want to be the only parent. wow
    charisma10

    Answer by charisma10 at 2:01 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

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