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SAHM'S Do you clean up after your husband?

For example, if he leaves dirty socks in the living room or leaves cups and stuff in the bedroom. Do you clean it up for him, or do you leave it for him to do?

I just became a SAHM so this is all new to me. I do understand that my job is to now take care of the house and kids, but a part of me feels like he should still clean up behind hisself at the very least.

Answer Question
 
LadyEb

Asked by LadyEb at 1:44 PM on Aug. 6, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 10 (446 Credits)
Answers (22)
  • lol yeah he should clean up after himself but the man in him dosen't allow it i guess haha i pick up after my dh b/c i can't stand the mess
    josiesmommy00

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 1:45 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • He's a grown man. He can pick it up himself. I don't pick up after my husband.
    purpleducky

    Answer by purpleducky at 1:46 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • Its a mix. If he does pick up, it's because I told him to....usually. And there are times I just do it myself. Now he'll really surprise me sometimes and I'll come home and the dishes will be done.
    MommyLee08

    Answer by MommyLee08 at 1:57 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • There are many different views on this. A man should still do his part around the house even if the woman is staying home.

    However, if you can pick up after him and don't mind doing it then don't feel guilty or whatever for doing it. You can hear that little voice in your head saying "you shouldn't have to do this" and let it get to you.

    I was superwoman when my kids were little and could take care of everything. I was FAST. My husband appreciated me for it. He took the family or me out to eat nice places, brought me flowers, ect. If I needed help with something he would do it.

    It worked out well for us. Much better than nagging or fighting.
    GailllAZ

    Answer by GailllAZ at 1:57 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • everyday noght when my SO comes home from work he changes in the living room and leaves all his clothes on the floor me n baby r upstairs asleep he dont wanna wake us, then he plays his games at night and get up with the baby however when i get up n the mornig i see he has eaten the house and he has crap everywhere, it is my job to clean it since i dont work this is my job. i hate picking up after him but if i dont we wouldnt be able to walk through the house.
    ggiovanni

    Answer by ggiovanni at 1:59 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • He should still clean after himself. You're a SAHM not maid, sorry. My mother told me (after I got married) not to start something I didn't want to finish. If I started doing everything myself, he's going to expect it all the time. And of course, Mom was right. This time. lol ;-) Talk to him and see about sharing the chores and responsibilities.

    Danni143

    Answer by Danni143 at 2:05 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • I think any responsible adult should be responsible for cleaning up after themselves. Being a SAHM, sure your new job is now to take care of the house. Make dinner, take care of the kids, do the necessary housework and do the laundry if that is part of your normal routine. If you do his laundry I think he should at least pay you the courtesy of putting that laundry in the hamper where it belongs. Otherwise, you are not just the keeper of the house, you have then become his maid and to me that's not what a SAHM signs on for. At least, if I were in your shoes, that would not be the job I sign on for. SAHM stands for "Stay At Home Mom" not "Stay At Home Maid". About 10 years ago I was a SAHM and this was a very strong disagreement I had with my husband at the time.
    sillyt

    Answer by sillyt at 2:07 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • I do, where I draw the line (and we have arguments) is putting his laundry away. I don't put my kids away (they are 10 and 14) and I won't put his away either. Especially when he "paws" through the drawers and unfolds everything and shoves it back in there! So if I were to put something away, I would have to refold the entire drawer first.
    Lesli

    Answer by Lesli at 2:13 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • Yes, I clean up after my SO. He's not a dirty man so there's not a lot to clean up after. Whenever I'm away or simply can't get my chores done, he'll tend to them as best he can. This is how I see it, if he's working hard to provide for me and our daughter then I should at least cook, clean, etc... Don't get me wrong though, he does A LOT of things around the house that I WILL NOT do. I will not mow or weed whack nor will I trim trees, etc... so it's pretty evened out between the two of us.
    JJRsMomma

    Answer by JJRsMomma at 2:28 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • well, I'm a working mom, but I work from home with the kids 3 times per week...DH isn't a total slob, he definitely does his part around here, but there are occassions when he leaves clothes on the floor or a cup somewhere, I don't mind picking it up, its give and take around here...when i feel he's not pulling his weight I speak up, but that isn't often. I don't feel like his maid, just as he doesn't feel like my servant when he does things for me. We're a team and running this ship together. That being said, the truth of the matter is that I definitely do more, but I think as husbands go, mine is pretty good. I've heard horror stories!
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 2:30 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

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