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I found a condom in my son's pants!

While my son Nick was away for the week I decided to do some laundry for him so he would have some clean clothes when he got home from the camping trip. When I was emptying the pockets in a pair of his shorts I found a condom! It took me a minute to come back from the shock but I do not know what to do. I know that if he has it and is actaully having sex, he is at least being reasponsible. But then the fear came over me that just because he has it doesnt mean he used it/will use it. What if its in his pocket because he had sex and didnt use it!! Should I confront him or have his dad deal with this one?? I am just very shocked about this whole thing and it is just another reminder that Nicholas is not a little boy any more he is 17. Yes he does have a girlfriend and they have been together for over 2 yrs ( I believe it is 3 as of October). Please Ladies I have no idea how to deal with this.

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xomommy25

Asked by xomommy25 at 4:01 PM on Aug. 6, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • Both of you need to sit down with him and talk with him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:04 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • They are having sex. No question about it. If you aren't comfortable talking to him about it, then yes have his dad discuss with him. But I would hope you guys can be open and honest with each other. I always want my girls to tell me when(hopefully IF) they start having sex.
    munch12502

    Answer by munch12502 at 4:04 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • My heart broke the first time I found out about my boys (babies) having sex for the first time. It's already happening whether you like it or not and you can't stop him from doing it ( no pun intended) so now...have the talk and look at the con- he is being responsible and using condoms. Every family is different so discuss what you expect of him from this point on and just help him to safe and smart.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:10 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • goodI'd have his condom sitting on his dresser with a note that says "good for you for being responsible". I used to buy my son condoms. We didn't discuss it a lot but I always made sure they were in the linen closet for him. I don't think there is a lot of need for discussion but a pat on the back would be good. Praise good behavior.

    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:11 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • I know it hurts to think of your child having sex.. BUT Be proud!!
    1. Hes in a commited relationship! That means he has enough respect for woman to CARE for them before sleeping with them! And he has found 1 he obviously cares for to share the special bond w/ since they have been dating 2/3yrs. Seems like he takes sex seriously!
    2. Hes wearing condoms! And maybe she is on birth control! Maybe something to talk about! Can never have too many protections
    3. He is 17 Im sure he knows all about the birds & the bees! If she is the only person he has slept with, feel proud! Kids sleep around now days like sharing a coke or playing spin the bottle. Sex is more of an entertainment now day - not anything special!
    -What you should do depends on your relationship..Just make it easy & dont make him feel bad or anything. Its better he be able to talk to you than run behind your back if something ever happens.less is more for his sake!
    MommaTasha1003

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 5:10 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • ....Or maybe they have not got there yet BUT he keeps one just to be on the safe side!!
    MommaTasha1003

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 5:11 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • You must let him know that you found it because it is a terrible idea to have a condom in his pocket. The body heat combined with movement can break down the latex, causing breakage...
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:36 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • More then likely hes probably having sex and if hes not hes probably trying hard to finally have sex with her. I would talk to him about how you feel on the issue, express your concerns, ( pregnancy, stds) and tell him you want him to be able to talk to you about things, Also you might want to find out if the gf is on Birth Control as well. My Gyno told me that using condoms alone you still have a 17 percent chance of getting pregnant. Doesn't sound like a lot but its only took that small parentage to create our daughter lol
    andrea_smkns

    Answer by andrea_smkns at 6:42 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • I would be furious, a 17 year old should not be having sex. I would flat out ask him if he's having sex, I'm blunt, I hold nothing back ,and I hate to sugarcoat things, kids will walk all over you, just come out and ask him.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 12:04 AM on Aug. 7, 2009

  • I had a similar experience 3 years ago only my son was 16. Yes, I was shocked to have found it, then very upset at the point of being mad and ready to ground my son. But after I settled, I was glad to learned that he's practicing safe sex. The next thing I did was talked to him about it. If the discussion is done in a matter of fact way, it becomes easier to have an open and honest discussion. Good luck.
    inahdnako

    Answer by inahdnako at 1:07 AM on Aug. 7, 2009

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