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I get really irritated when my in-laws say that my son looks like their side of the family only. Why do I feel like this?

My family doesn't live in the same state but my husbands family does and they always say how much my son looks like my husband or his father or someone else in their family. Also how every feature is from their side. My son has light skin and so do I but my husnands mom says he got it from her of since he has blue eyes (I did for the first year of my life then they changed to green) but how those are from her. I guess I miss my family so much and he is 50% them too I want some acknowledgment for me and my side. It really bugs me. I really wish it didn't.


Asked by Anonymous at 4:25 PM on Aug. 6, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Hun, my family lives right around the corner from us and my inlaws...and still after 7 yrs I can't stand when the inlaws say the same crap, to the point I just change the subj. My MIL goes as far as saying that even something as simple as my daughter picking her nose "oh my baby does just like i did at her age" Talk about pisses me off or "oh my baby is so gorgeous she looks just like her gramma' because i guess am just a slab of freakin balogne! lol all we can do is try to ignore it, once i took over pics of my mom as a baby and showed her so she could see how much the kids do look like my side as well.

    Answer by vanessa432 at 4:35 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • UGH my in laws do this too. Thankfully we have both sides of the family here and not just my in laws but EVERY time we around DH family they have to go on about how he looks IDENTICAL to DH and I just cringe. I know I get upset because HELLO I carried him and I can see the traits he has from me. I want recognition too lol. But yes it gets quite irritating when people go on and on about how the baby looks just like one parent. BTW our son was born with blue eyes and they turned green too. :) At least they aren't saying the baby looks nothing like DH and trying to convince him the baby isn't his. (Yea that was my MIL and SIL for the first year and a half and now all of a sudden they swear he is the 'smitting image' of DH)

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:39 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • I think all inlaws do this. It's very annoying and bothers us because after 9 long months of pregnancy, we get to be the ones to push the little boogers out, only to be told they look like Uncle Joe's wife's cousin's sister's son, twice removed. Yeah. Aren't inlaws peachy?

    Answer by momjoy1027 at 4:48 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • Well,I have it both ways.Dd is a spitting image of me & ds could be my dh's twin. lol When my mil & sil take out ds people think he belongs to one of them,but thankfully my in-laws are very sweet so I don't get irritated w/it.

    Answer by briannasmom2 at 4:48 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • My situation is reversed. My wonderful (sarcasm) MIL is always saying that our daughter looks nothing like her son. It makes me feel like she doesn't truly believe she is his, which pisses me off. If you look at his old baby pictures, she has clear features that he did. You would think his mother would know this, I guess she's too stupid. She does look JUST like me but she has his dark hair and nose. I've almost said a few times, "Lady, you want me to go get a damn DNA test?" That'd shut her up :)

    Answer by tnm786 at 4:50 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • I had this happen to me but it was with my mother. My mom is the worst and we have a love, hate relationship. I had a son and the only grandchild on my side of the family. My mom kept comparing my son to hers. My brother has bright blue eyes and she swore that my son will have blue eyes. HA! they are brown. She said, 'He will be a runner just like my brother." It has gotten so bad that it causes fights and I have just had to tell her off. My son is not another copy of her son. I am her kid too and he probably got something from me but she never would say that. It was always, he's just like my brother. Will grow up to be just like my brother. UGH!!! Because she has done this, it has caused some big issues in my family to the point where I really hate seeing or being around my mother. Sad, isn't it. So, I feel for you. And there is no way you can change them..maybe have your husband talk to them. Good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:56 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • Ugh, I had the same thing with my MIL when DS was born. She said it so much it started to make me feel that whe was trying to relive when DH was born. I just wanted to snatch him back and say "he is MY son not yours" She was obsessed with his eyes. DH has dark brown eyes and DS was born with greyish eyes. EVERYTIME she saw him she said "have his eyes turned brown yet?" He is 13 months old and they are hazel. A few days ago she asked if they had changed yet and I snapped. I told her that they WONT change, yes his father has brown eyes but MINE are blue and he is half me too!! Hopefully she stops asking aout that.

    Answer by JSWeible at 4:59 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • My MIL's favorite thing to say when DS was born was he must not be my husband's baby because he only looked like me. He is light skinned, light haired and light eyed just like their family. The only difference is the majority of them have green eyes instead of blue like my son. Finally I got so sick of her crap that I asked who in her family has blue eyes. She said no one. I said, "blue is a recessive trait. It has to come from both sides. So if it's not from your family, it must be from your son's biological father." A totally sore subject because DH's father dumped her before DH was born. She didn't bring it up again. When our daughter was born everyone again said the baby looked like me. I agree this time because she does. DH asked his mother if she thinks DD looks like DS when he was born. She said yes and he said I guess they are both mine, right?

    A well placed barb usually ends that b.s.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:53 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • I don't know why it bothers you. It never bothered me when I was told my kids loooked like my in-laws. Who cares?

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:24 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • My ex monster in law does that too. Don't let it get to you!

    Answer by Starfire73 at 6:37 PM on Aug. 6, 2009