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Do any mother's out there have kids by more than one father?

I am really struggling with this right now. I'm a single mother of 2 kids, each by different men. It may not seem like a big deal to some, but to its very upsetting. I know, I put myself in this situation & I love my kids with everything I have.. but it hit me recently when my s/o & I broke up for good--- that if I ever again in my life get involved with another man & we decide to have kids together.. that will mean that I will have kids by THREE different people !! It just sounds so... well.. bad i guess. I am not the kind of woman who's fast or anything like that, in fact, my kids are 8 yrs apart. My oldest was a result of a huge mistake i made when i was 17 & my baby i had with a man i thought was going to marry me. But now... here i am a single mother with 2 baby daddies..

What do you other mothers think of this? Is it as bad as it sounds? Truthfully..

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:45 PM on Aug. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • My oldest is by a different man but hubby adopted him so its not an issue.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 4:52 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • Life is full of change. It happens. I know a girl who has 3 kids by 3 different guys. She gets a lot of crap for it, but it doesn't matter. She loves her kids. Her new man loves all of her kids like his own. All that matter is being a happy family:)
    Sorry about your break up.
    glittersteph

    Answer by glittersteph at 4:55 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • I am not yet a mom but I am the oldest of my 2 other siblings that are from different fathers. It really can seem bad to some people only because they don't understand the situation. Me and my middle sister are 6 years apart and the youngest is 7 years younger than her. I mean my mom had very long relationships with all of our fathers.(my dad=4 years, middle one=8 years and shes been with/married to the last one for 12 years) so it all depends on the situation. I mean I knew a girl from work that has 6 kids all from different fathers and shes not even 30 yet. Now that looks bad and in truth is pretty bad, but it doesn't make her a bad person...shes just made some mistakes and had bad times with men. Everyone needs to have some soul searching and now my mom's found her match. I just want to say that I respect women like you and my mom because it takes a strong person to have the courage to move on. don't let people judge you.
    jazi1105

    Answer by jazi1105 at 5:07 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • It's the way our society is now. Even nice women get pregnant and end up not with the father or their children.

    I was a witness at a very big trial. The night before the trial the prosecutor called me and said the defense "had" something on me. The prosecutor kept asking me what it was. I said the worst thing about my life was I was divorced 3 times. I'd never been arrested. I hadn't had a ticket for 25 years. Nothing except divorced 3 times. He kept telling me that wasn't bad.

    It turned out they didn't have anything on me. They were just trying to scare me. I thought they might have found my ex that has bipolar disorder that hadn't seen me for over 10 years. Who knew what he would say.


    GailllAZ

    Answer by GailllAZ at 5:08 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • ((OP))

    Thanx a bunch to the ladies who replied.

    I guess the reason for this post is that recently, like i said, ive broken up with my s/o & on top of it, i've been told by a few people already that i shouldn't have any more children because it will not be a good look to have 3 kids by 3 different men & that having 2 kids by 2 different men already makes me look like something I'm not. This was said by a few people in my life that are supposed to care about me. But they said they were just trying to give me some good advice. It hurt alot. I didn't mean to put myself in this situation, it just sort of happend along the way.

    Will me having 2 kids by 2 different fathers look "bad" to guys who try to date me in the future??
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:20 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • My friend was single for a long time. Not by her choice, but guys in general avoid women with kids.
    Try not to worry about that now. Just try to heal your heart :)
    Being a single mommy is hard enough without added stress.
    Good luck and hugs
    glittersteph

    Answer by glittersteph at 5:37 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • let me add, that a good man will have no problems with your kids :)

    glittersteph

    Answer by glittersteph at 5:38 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • i have 3 kids with 3 dads but my s/o is the daddy to all 3. hes a great dad. i didnt want anymore daddies or babies and i was single for years. when the perfect one comes along youll know it. its when your not looking for it, love will find you.
    hlmommy

    Answer by hlmommy at 5:55 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • My mother had me when she was 17, married my biological father and found out less than a year he was cheating on her. They got a divorce. He is a complete waste of skin. They got a divorce and he made the national dead beat dad registry. When I was four she met another man, who treated me like I was his own, they dated for a year, had my sister and got married. They were married for 2 years and came to the mutual decision that they were better friends and have grown apart. They got a divorce and when they left the court house they went out for dinner.They are still friends. When my sister was six, she met another man. They dated for 6 months before we met him. After 2 years of dating, they got married. One year later my youngest sister was born. So no, in circumstances like that.. there is nothing wrong with it. Life happens. GOOD LUCK!

    LadyLuck13

    Answer by LadyLuck13 at 6:22 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • I had 3 children with my ex, and my dh and I have a son together. If something happened to my dh (like he died, because divorce is not an option), and I remarried, I would not have any more kids because I wouldn't want to have kids by 3 different men, but that's just my choice.
    It would make me wonder if I saw a woman with 3 kids by 3 different men, but I also know that there are 2 sides to every story and I try not to prejudge.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 9:00 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

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