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why do people thing its the same pain when a loved one dies and a loved one gets killed

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Asked by keithamy06 at 5:16 PM on Aug. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Level 7 (157 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Pain is pain, no?

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:19 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • I have had both happen to me many times, and was the same pain. Either way they were both taken away too soon and was I unable to say goodbye.
    I have lost many people in my life, some to murder, others to cancer, car accidents, brain tumors etc. Some were old, most were young and while it was harder for me to get over the young ones that have passed it was still sad and took a long time to get past them not being here. I still miss them everyday, but it has gotten easier.
    Dont worry about what others think, this is how you feel, and that is perfectly fine, you are entitled to your feelings. I am sorry for your loss:(

    Answer by midnightmoma at 5:22 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • If the person had a condition and you knew they were going to die soon its not as painful as if you just lose someone out of the blue...both are painful yes but it is different kinds of pain.

    Answer by colesmommy2009 at 5:23 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • I have a cousin that was killed in an accident, and one that was killed in a fight with another man. I honestly can't say I felt much different about either- I was mad at the senselessness of the accident, and I was mad about the waste of the murder. I miss them both equally, as we were all very close. The only real difference I could tell you, is that with the one who was murdered, I had someone to point my anger towards and there seemed like there was less closure there. The accident you could say it was "his time" and it eventually eases up, but with the second, he got off easy and it angers me to think that he spent less than 3 years in jail for a crime that took my cousin away. Until that anger subsides there really isn't much chance of closure, and its a more open wound. But as far as the pain I felt? I miss and mourned them about the same. Either way, it hurts like hell for a long time.

    Answer by Emuu at 5:24 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • Are you freakin serious? A death in the family is a death. No one is more painful than the other.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:29 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • well my father got killed last yr i think its a different pain than knowing some one is sick and is dieing

    Answer by keithamy06 at 5:29 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • I would imagine they are only comparing the loss of a loved one, not actually the pain of how they died.

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:30 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • There are different kinds of pain.

    My father died of cancer from smoking. He was sick a long time and wanted to die. I didn't have much pain. He died in his 50s and I was angry with him for doing it to himself.
    My grandmother died of complications from a hip fracture. I was very sad about her death.
    Different kinds of pain. Anger vs loss. I can understand how much different someone would feel if their loved one was killed. They would have all kind of emotions surrounding the cause of the death.

    Answer by GailllAZ at 5:32 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • condolences on your loss. No matter how you lose your dad, it's traumatic but how your dad died was unnecessary and certainly different than knowing someone is going through a process of dying where a family might know and be able to prepare a bit for it.

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:33 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • Because eithier way, they lost a loved one who they loved very much

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:37 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

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