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how do i keep my 4 year old intrested in her new sibling?

i'm having a trouble keeping my 4 year old daughter intrested in having a new baby brother or sister. any ideas on what i can do?

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Asked by doodle2009 at 6:41 PM on Aug. 6, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (6)
  • My kids are 20 & 24, but I went through the same thing. The son turned 4 that February, when his sister was born in April. I suppose it was bad enough that he ended up with a For almost 2 months he would talk to me unless I had asked him a question first.

    I didn't push him to do anything, to be honest I even went through a period where I wondered if he might try to hurt her because he was reeeeaalllyyy upset at the "sister not a brother" thing. Even before I gave birth, he was more interested in just spending time with me...not so much about hearing about the new sibling I was about to give him. I think it might just be the age to be honest. They go through such a "me-me-me" time then....I have a 4 yr old step son that does the same thing.

    After she was born, he still wasn't too interested in her, although later on they got to be very close and good friends. Although the whole teen years were......

    Answer by daisy521 at 6:50 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • Why would you want to do that? Don't make to big of a deal about it. Don't talk about how they will be the big sister and the helper. When the baby comes they can have problems because they don't want to be the big sister or the helper! They don't want a baby brother!

    Instead talk about how you will have enough love for both of them. About how some things will change but some will be the same. About how it's your job to be the mom and she isn't expected to take care of the baby. Let her bring the subject up.

    Answer by GailllAZ at 6:51 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • ....hard on everybody. But things go around in cycles, currently they really don't have much to do with each other. Although they are on opposite coasts, he's in NC and she's in Cali. I have no doubt they will grow back together again.

    Just make sure your DD knows that even though it's her flesh and blood sister...that she doesn't HAVE to love her. That was something my ex tried to push on the kids. I tried to teach them that you can love someone w/out liking them, even though that sounds strange. Or that just because someone is your blood relation...does not necessarily mean you automatically love them.

    In any case, good luck...and get lots of sleep now! You're going to need it.

    Answer by daisy521 at 6:54 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • Why? I guess I am of the opinion that it is wonderful if parents have a desire to parent another child. Congratulations for adding to your family! But a child does not have to be interested in or even be friends with a sibling. That is why we have and make friends. Siblings are just that....brothers and sisters. Our hope may be that our children like each other, want to spend time and play with each other, and as adults become friends. Sometimes it happens and sometimes it does not. What is a must is that a child respect their family members and show them kindness and curtesey. You cannot make anyone think or feel anything they don't want to. Trying is a waste of energy. A better way is to talk about how her role will change and what it may be like having a sibling or baby in the home. The rest will follow through your lead.

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:00 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • My four year old didn't want to have anything to do with his baby brother when we first brought him home. But, one day I was changing the baby and he asked if he could help, so I had him bring me a diaper and the wipes. He was glad to help and I praised him for being such a big brother. He just needed some time to warm up to the idea of having a little brother. I would let him come around on his own. Now the baby is 1 and they are both like best buds. My 4yr old is always looking after and helping his baby brother.

    Answer by officerjoeys at 10:14 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • My boys are 4 years apart. My son was tolerant of it at first (beginning of pregnancy) and we included him in everything and he was accepting of it--not that he had a choice mind you, I was having his brother, whether he liked it or not!!! We talked to him about being a big brother, the exciting things he could do and some of the not-so-exciting things---I didn't want him to think it would always be fun having a baby brother around. He was never really interested in his brother and they have gone through spurts over the last 3 years (the boys are 7 and 3)--as all siblings do---they like each other, they hate each other!

    Answer by lissa27504 at 8:31 AM on Aug. 7, 2009

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