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Why shouldnt we get married?

Okay so me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years we have a 3 week old baby, when we he asked me to marry him last year i said yes... well then i got pregnant so he said lets wait til we are together for 2 years then get married we have been together and now when i ask him are we still getting married he says yes but lets wait til we are together 5 years. WTH? we dont fight or anything he just thinks we are too young to get married. I am 22 he is 21. what difference would it make if got married now or in 5 years we will still be together anyways so can someone tell me why we should wait or just give me some opinions.


Asked by ggiovanni at 6:49 PM on Aug. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (20 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I've been with my SO for about 10 years and we still aren't married. We've been engaged since 2002. We are together and some day we will get married, but neither one of us is pushing it.  

    Whatever you do...don't give him any ultimatums.  Just go with it and enjoy your lives together.  It will happen.


    Answer by jucyfrut at 8:19 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • There is a huge adjustment period after you have a baby so I don't blame him for wanting to wait. Also, maybe he wants to wait so that others don't think you are getting married just because you have a baby.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 6:50 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • I think you should get married before you have a baby!

    Answer by GailllAZ at 6:55 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • Um, The baby is 3 weeks old

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:58 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • If you are old enough to have a baby you are old enough to get married, I think he is just scared

    Answer by looovemybabies at 6:58 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • No matter when you get married people will say you got married because of baby. He is probably nervous about being a new father. Give him time to adjust and bring it back up.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:00 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • i think he is scared, just give him a break, i wouldnt ask him about it anymore, i mean 2 years and a baby your practically married sweetheart, just without the paper and without his last name, I was the same way but then i realized even if we did get married now i would want to wait until he is ready too i wouldnt want to feel like i was forcing him ya know?

    Answer by xxSummaxx13 at 7:01 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • hmm..if hes scared to get married (like the pp stated) then i think its very silly.its like you're in a pool and you get scared when someones hands you a glass of guys are already binded together for life by your baby, if hes scared to be bimded togther by marriage..then his way of thinking is messed up. but if heisnt scared of marriage then i have no idea why hes wanting to wait 2-5 years and so on and so forth. you should straight out ask him "do you really want to marry me?" see what comes out of his mouth. i do believe though that marriage is a huge commitment and if you guys didnt have a baby then i would say hes in the right to be sure of you guys,..BUT since you've already started the fam,..i dont see what the hold up is.

    Answer by naturepeace at 7:04 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • I agree with Jademom07 and your bf. It prob doesnt have anything at all to do with not wanting to marry you but it does take some time to adjust to your new roles as parents and between that and planning a wedding they are both stressful. I think it's wise of him to want to wait. And what Jade said people would assume you were just getting married because of the baby but they will assume that no matter what. But just give him time. He obviously still wants to marry you but he wants to make sure that he can provide for you the best he can and that he is doing whats best for you and your baby. That's an amazing quality for him to have and you are lucky to have a real man to spend the rest of your life with. You never know he may change his mind before you get to 5 years but the more you push it the longer you will prob have to wait. Congrats on the baby and your future wedding :)

    Answer by landensmommy411 at 7:06 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • LOL, it's the old "let's wait a while" excuse, huh? Well, if he's not being clear then I don't think we can tell you more. Not being mean. Just seeing it as he's telling it.

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:18 PM on Aug. 6, 2009