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my best friend? not so much anymore..

okay so i was supposed to go to the bar with a friend (which is also my best frends ex bf) and he wanted to buy me drinks for my 21st. so i didn't think anything about it until he asked me if we should tell my best friend.. i thought about it for a while and figured it would be the right thing to do to find out if it was okay with her. she said she didn't care. which i expected because she used to hang out with my ex boyfriend too. anyway he started texting me saying his ex was bitching at him for going to the bar with me so i confronted her and she said she was upset.. and long story short i didn't end up going to the bar with him. and now all of a sudden shes not talking to me. her facebook status says "just when you're in need of a best friend they let you down" and im thinking what the hell?! shes been my best friend for 18 yrs and now its over?! why do you think she's acting like this??

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:07 PM on Aug. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Maybe she still has feelings for him? Even if it seems crazy ALWAYS pick the friend over the guy....trust me. Talk to her, tell her you had no ill intention but won't hang out w/ him if it upsets her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:09 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • Maybe she would have felt better if she had been invited. Maybe it looks or feels like you and her ex are trying to hook up. I agree with the 1st poster (always pick the friend over the guy)
    TXdanielly

    Answer by TXdanielly at 9:11 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • Friends come before boys. End of story.
    Seven07

    Answer by Seven07 at 9:16 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • She probably felt on put on the spot and said she didn't care if you went together, but she really didn't want you to go. kwim? Like she didn't want to say it was fine but felt like she had to when you asked. Or maybe she didn't care until she thought about it.
    I would call her up and try to hash it out. What have you got to lose at this point? I mean she is already mad at you, so you might as well try to become friends again. 18 years is a long time to be friends only to blow it off over something dumb.
    Nathskitten

    Answer by Nathskitten at 9:20 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • If you were my best friend of 18 years and I heard you were going to a bar together on your bday I would have done worse than a facebook status. Write a letter saying youre sorry and send flowers if you value the relationship.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:47 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • I would talk it out with her. Explain your side of it and get hers.
    alinker

    Answer by alinker at 10:33 PM on Aug. 6, 2009

  • Maybe she's a little upset that you'd rather spend the birthday with him than her?
    Most, not all, women aren't able to completely let go of all of the emotion they felt for someone they loved and I'm one of them. I wouldn't feel right with my best friend hanging out with my ex.
    You did the right thing, you asked her first. She should've either been honest to start with, or once she realized she had a problem with it, she should've called and told you she'd changed her mind. Is it even remotely possible that he's lying about her giving him a hard time, or maybe he said something to her that made her think you'd done something to let her down?
    You need to talk to her and tell her that she said it was okay, so you thought she meant it. That your friendship with her is more important than drink/s with him.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 1:03 AM on Aug. 7, 2009

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