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How wrong do you think this is?

My little girl came home from visit with her father last night. She is 5 and hasnt seen him in a little over 4 years. She was very upset and said he told her that she has to call him daddy. She has been calling her step dad daddy since she was 18 months old. She said she told him that she had a daddy already and he told her no you have a step dad. I called and asked him would he back off her a little bit and just see how things go. He said no and he will only be called daddy. She is about to start school I dont want her under a lot of stress. My DH and I never told her to call him daddy she just started saying it. My DH is pretty pissed right now. He has been taking care of this little girl all this time and now feels like she is being taken away.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:12 AM on Aug. 7, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (11)
  • In my opinion, the title of daddy is not just given. It has to be earned.
    Samantha_1629

    Answer by Samantha_1629 at 6:19 AM on Aug. 7, 2009

  • I agree with Samantha. && I would tell "wannabe daddy" if he doesn't back off of her && stop stressing out && upsetting your baby girl then his time with her will be shortened. He can't just waltz back into her life && expect to have a "daddy" relationship with her immediately. Remind him that he is the one who chose to not be around for so long.
    HisMommySince07

    Answer by HisMommySince07 at 6:28 AM on Aug. 7, 2009

  • You should also make sure that step dad has rights over her. Have him adopt her or something so it's legal. I wouldn't even allow the biological father visitation rights if he can't agree to your terms. I totally agree with Samantha.
    mschanng

    Answer by mschanng at 6:34 AM on Aug. 7, 2009

  • Oh boy, what a tough one! I can see how your husband would be upset. He has been a father to this girl for nearly 5 years and now someone else just shows up and wants to be called "Daddy" for nothing. BUT I can see how the baby's biological father would be upset too. It's his child, and you and her have a happy new life with a new dad in it. Where does that leave him? Sure he should have thought of that before he had nothing to do with her for 5 years, but I can see how he'd be sore.

    I'd have a sit down with him (without your daughter present) and tell him that while he was gone you have built the family that your daughter needs to grow. She is too young for this sort of stress and he should just take it easy. In time she may come around to having "two Daddy's" but he needs to let her come around on her own. It may take years, but relationships worth working on take time.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 7:02 AM on Aug. 7, 2009

  • yeah op here my DH would love to adopt DD but first ex has to sign rights over
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:40 AM on Aug. 7, 2009

  • Ummm...this is a very sensitive subject. First off, just me being part of the adoption triad myself (DD is adopted), you don't want to confuse the child or not tell her the truth. This person who is insisting upon being called "Daddy" is the biological father and the person who has been called "Daddy" is the step-father. Your daughter needs to understand this.

    I know you said the bio-father hasn't seen her in 4 years, but is this visit a one-time thing or does he plan to continue them? Maybe call her biological father "Dad" or "Father." I agree that "Daddy" is an earned title, however, she does need to know who is who.
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 9:08 AM on Aug. 7, 2009

  • I agree with the previous post.........pick a similiar name for the bio-dad like "father".

    What was she calling her bio-dad before he told her to call him "daddy"?
    Dyndudes

    Answer by Dyndudes at 9:31 AM on Aug. 7, 2009

  • by his first name
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 AM on Aug. 7, 2009

  • I think it is wrong for the bio-dad to demand he be called "daddy".

    Maybe you could just add "Daddy" in front of his first name...........for example.......Daddy Tom. This would help your daughter differentiate between the two men and hopefully appease her bio-dad.
    Dyndudes

    Answer by Dyndudes at 11:09 AM on Aug. 7, 2009

  • daddy is an EARN title. not something forced.
    I'ld suggest you call him up and tell him to lay off the name because he hasn't really been around for 4 years
    kittenripmaygo

    Answer by kittenripmaygo at 11:58 AM on Aug. 7, 2009

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