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HOT TOPIC WARNING: Why is it ok for a kid to see his mom going to the bathroom, but if the kid sees his DAD going to the bathroom, it's wrong and disgusting?

I have seen countless posts by moms with small children, that say that the only way they can go to the bathroom is to bring their little one in the bathroom with them. No one says anything negative about it. But if it was a MAN who had to bring the child into the bathroom with him, a lot of people say it's disgusting and wrong?

"OMG a child should NEVER see her father's penis!!" (But it's ok for her {or him} to see the mother's vulva?)

Why is there a double standard? Why are fathers treated like pedophiles when it comes to their own children?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:12 PM on Aug. 7, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • You hit the nail on the head. Read posts here (anywhere, actually) and you'll see TONS of moms who seem to truly believe (or at least act like) all men are deadbeat dads or spousal abusing pedophiles.

    We've basically made being male a bad thing and think nothing of our double standards. I wonder frequently if the women on any given thread saying all men are lazy and worthless and can't parent, etc realize that they're raising sons who will, hopefully, one day be men?

    Answer by Avarah at 10:03 PM on Aug. 7, 2009

  • What choice do people have but to bring their kids to the bathroom with them no matter what gender?

    Answer by kirsty_mcgrail at 9:15 PM on Aug. 7, 2009

  • Because people are uptight. In our house we are not ashamed of the human body. We don't parade around without clothes, but if someone sees something we don't freak out.
    I don't get the double standard either.

    Answer by Nathskitten at 9:16 PM on Aug. 7, 2009

  • I haven't seen that yet. But I don't see anything wrong with it. DD sometimes goes into the bathroom with dh if they are out together. The boys have to go into the bathroom with me (well mostly, anymore, just the little one).

    Answer by Petie at 9:16 PM on Aug. 7, 2009

  • My DS sees both SO and I go to the bathroom

    Answer by momma_marian at 9:35 PM on Aug. 7, 2009

  • I wasn't aware that existed. My husband is uncomfortable with his little girls in the bathroom with him, but he is a private person. They have been in, and he hides that he is uncomfortable. To be fair, he'd be uncomfortable if I was in there! He's just private.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:38 PM on Aug. 7, 2009

  • My son has seen me naked, use the bathroom and has pulled the shower door open while I was showering, not a big deal to me. He is now 13 and has a little more respect and doesn't do it as much but, I just don't make a big deal about it. Our bodies are nothing to be ashamed of. It is only the US the seems to have issues with our children seeing a naked body. I am a single parent and while my son was growing up, he HAD to come in the bathroom with me in public and he isn't scared or anything.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:44 PM on Aug. 7, 2009

  • I can't figure it out either.

    Answer by ColleenF30 at 11:06 PM on Aug. 7, 2009

  • hmm no my husband is potty training them so it's great but i think if you have a daughter i would be concerned especially her seeing the urinals in a public place and random men peeing, a little gross no? so i don't know my BIL has a 3.5 yr old he has to take her in with him he's a single dad.. but it is afterall the human body and it is naturall so really whats to be ashamed about?

    Answer by mirit.rose at 12:32 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • I couldn't agree more! How are our children supposed to grow up without shame and fear of the body when we don't behave without shame and fear? How can we reasonably expect them to come and talk to us about sex (when the time comes) when we behave like we are embarassed about something as basic and essential as peeing? Why does our culture have cutesy pootsy names for our anatomical parts. It's a penis, not a ding-a-ling, or a willy. It's a vulva, not a hoo hoo, a tu-tu, or a lilypad. A child should know the correct anatomical names without shame and without the fear of admonition if needing to discuss something of a biological nature. My 2 1/2 yr old knows the correct names for his body parts. Well, he calls his nipples "nimmles," because p is hard to say. He hasn't asked much about the female anatomy, he just knows that Mommy doesn't have a penis because she's a girl. When he asks, I'll tell him. Factually and without shame.

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 8:50 AM on Aug. 8, 2009