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What do you do when you just can't move on?

For the last 2 years I have tried my best to get over someone. I love him with all my heart. He treats me like crap. He's never treated me right in the time I've known him. How many times am I going to go through the cycle? I know I deserve better. I know I'm a good catch. It just drives me crazy, why can't he see that? I've tried dating other people but my mind is stuck on him. I wish we didn't have a child together so I can completely let go but I can't. Have you ever been like this?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:03 PM on Aug. 7, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • i have been where you are i was with some one for 2 years and honestly he did treat me right and im not sure where things went wrong for 3 years i wanted nothing more then for him and i to work out i dated other people even got serious with two other ppl one of them died in afghanstan and the other turned out to be a huge asshole that things ended with him being arrested for two counts of aggravated assualt with a deadly weapon and the night that happened i went by my exs house left a note on his car asking him to call me i could really use a friend although he didnt call he started showing up where he knew i hung out on my bday we hooked up on the beach at 3am and a week later his best friend told me it was just sex to him he didnt want to work things out and so on and so on i was completely heartbroken once again but told myself ok time to pick up the peices AGAIN and force myself to move on even though i know it will
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 12:37 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • Think of the image of a woman and mother you are portraying to your child. We often follow what we learn/know through life.. do you want her to accept a person that treats her poorly because she watched mom do it . I'm not saying your a bad mother at all, I'm just saying.. change your motivation for getting out of the situation once and for all.. do it for her.
    scout575

    Answer by scout575 at 11:15 PM on Aug. 7, 2009

  • Oh sorry.. you said child not daughter.. same advice applies. If it's a boy he should learn that women won't stick around if there treated poorly..
    scout575

    Answer by scout575 at 11:17 PM on Aug. 7, 2009

  • I agree w/scout575. Also we don't always get over our love for someone. Over the years, we think back fondly on our feelings. I teach my children love is a commitment, not a feeling. If you look at love that way, you can make better choices. Choose to recognize that you have feelings for this man, but love for you is the comittment he makes to you, like the one you have made to your child.

    sit down and write out all the characterics of the man you want. Picture him in your mind, and in the shower recite I am so Thankful and Grateful, that the man I love has a sense of humor, is xxx. When you start concentrating on what you need rather then what you have, you will be surprised at how soon, he can be in your life. do this exercise every day for at least 30 days. Good Luck
    moneymagnetmom

    Answer by moneymagnetmom at 11:25 PM on Aug. 7, 2009

  • I did but later learned that my son goes first and that relationship was not healthy. Let go if its hurting instead of helping.
    Yve538

    Answer by Yve538 at 12:09 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • get someone new. thats how i get over someone...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:35 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • cont. always be him in my heart... well i had been kinda talking to someone i hadnt met yet and he wanted to hang out so i was like ok but told my sis i was just gonna let him be a dumbass that would take me out spend his money on me and not get any lol well we hung out for the first time june 12 (of this year lol) we were engaged by june 14th and married on july 4th in that time period something weird happened my ex was the last thing on my mind and the real test came 3 days after i got married when the ex called me and begged me to leave my now husband and he saw how stupid and blind he had been i said ya know i have prayed for this day for along time and i never thought it would go like this but im truely happy without you for the first time in 3 yrs sorry you had your chance..... point is lol sooner or later you will meet who you are suppose to be with and when u do u'll know until then it hurts!!!
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 12:41 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • I've been in the situation, but it never took me 2 years. It took my sister 5 years to get over her ex, and I think she should've went to counceling. The proper grieving time is 6 months and the other 6 months should be utilized to renew your self esteem, self worth, and your ability to have fun without a man, then you should promptly move on. This is not natural, please don't waste anymore of your time or tears on this man, get yourself some help.
    mumma28

    Answer by mumma28 at 12:52 AM on Aug. 8, 2009