Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

so confused??

when i got pregnant with my son I was only 15 and it was a complete accident. At the time my best friend and I had started talking and sleeping together but nothing was official because he wasn't ready and i had just gotten out of a relationship with one of his friends. while my friend was away on vacation with his family i ended up sleeping with my ex and the condom broke but me and my friend never used a condom so i'm not positive who the father is but my ex took responsibility and we got back together. Now me and my best friend can barley even talk and it kills me because I absolutely love him and i want to be with him but his new g/f hates me cause he WAS (don't know ne more) so in love with me and i was his first. she won't let him talk to me and anytime i see him he's with her. i don't know what to do cause i can't get him off my mind and my relationship with my son's father is going down hill as well.... any advice????

Answer Question

Asked by colesmommy12 at 11:52 PM on Aug. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • haha sounds like you should be on the maury show!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:54 PM on Aug. 7, 2009

  • I would get a paternity test.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 PM on Aug. 7, 2009

  • That's really rude anon... Honestly, if you don't love the ex, then you should be up front, honest, and gently talk to him about this. I don't know what to say about the friend. He has a girlfriend, and I wouldn't ever suggest splitting a couple up ( unless it was abusive, etc). I think you should really sit down and think about what's best for your child and yourself... Good luck to you...
    If ya ever just need someone to talk to you can message me.

    Answer by momma_marian at 11:59 PM on Aug. 7, 2009

  • This is a hard one. You are so young to be going through this. If possible, try to get a paternity test. I really don't know what else to say. I lost my virginity at 21, we were married 2 yrs later. Now divorced.

    Answer by Yve538 at 12:00 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • seriously y be rude and post ann i mean if u dont stand behind what u say then dont say it! anyhow for the op i think before you go and pull any one back in with the drama of it all make sure your reasons for doing so are right.... is it just because the relationship isnt working out that you feel this way about the friend? is it because you want your child to know who his father is 100% for sure? im not trying to be rude but if the friend is happy now dont pull him back just for your own selfish need... if you want to know 100% who the father is have the boyfriend tested first if its not him then have the other one tested

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 12:16 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • Wow do I know that pain! i haven't checked your profile to see how old you are now. But me having experienced being a teen mom and the pain of all that BS with father, boyfriends, etc. knowing what I know now... girl you just need to think of you and that baby!! Forget about the freaking boys! Live for you and that baby. Do what you and that baby need. Figure out who you even are and what you even want in life. Love, as I'm sure you've heard, is so blind and it makes people stupid to what's really going on. If the guy loves you, there will be no confusion. He will let you know and he will do what needs to be done to make it right. If YOU are the one trying to figure out what to do about some guy... drop him and move on and live for you! Grow up (not meaning rude) and learn and live and the love will come to you girl. Don't let a man bring you down. You are better and stronger then that.

    Answer by mistyDaze76 at 12:19 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • The fact is you were and are both young, and don't take this the wrong way, but immature. The thing you should be most concerned about right now, is your child, not men. Get a paternity test to see who the father is. Once you find out, HE has a choice. If he wants, let him be a daddy to your baby, and don't worry about who you are going to sleep with next, or who you love, until you actually know the true meaning of love. I got pregnant at 19 with the first boy to get me naked, he didn't stick around, which I expected, and I did date, but I did not cause myself all this drama by being with man-boys who don't know what they want. By the time I was 26, I realized what true love is, how to get it, and how to avoid all the B.S. Good luck!

    Answer by mumma28 at 12:40 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • First and foremost, get a dna test done for the sake of the child...secondly use this as a lesson learned so the drama will order to grow as a complete woman, you should stop and think about the mistakes your making before you do it, in order to reduce the risk of the situation you're in right now...Thirdly and listen closely, stop fooling around with boys and begin working on is great but and get this one......its suppose to be shared with someone special, not for the guy that's in your life right now...before trying to get back with a man that obviously has moved on with his life, do yourself a favor and get to the root of the deep issues inside yourself...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:05 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • I just want everyone to know.. my son comes first always has and always will. My son is also a diabetic and just broke his femur i do believe he will come first ALWAYS. i am alslo in my second year of pre-med and doing great and i'm not worried about the sex, since my son i hate having sex it just down right sucks. i am completely crazy over my friend and always have been. And for the record he is just with this girl because of me. he has talked about her to me before and he doesn't love her he just doesn't want to be alone! and i dont want a paternity test due to the fact that my bf has raised him for the past two years. if my son wants it later on then that is fine but as of right now i don't wantt one.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:05 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.