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Am I not being reasonable?

My step daughter who is 11 wants a dog, and her father and I discussed it and we told her that she can have one if she can prove she's responsible enough, because we don't want to be stuck with taking it for walks and picking up the dog poop after the novelty wears off. She thinks this is unfair, and is being very mean to me. Her mother passed on a few years ago so her father doesn't want to get involved with it. Should I just suck it up and agree to get a dog? This wouldn't be a problem if i was a dog person, but I'm really not.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:29 AM on Aug. 8, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • texassahm is so right.It does help learn responsibility and compassion.Though sometimes I have to remind several times to feed and water the pets I make sure they do it.Or I remind them what good pets they are but they can just be hungry...up they jump or when telling me they're hungry I'll say hmmm just like Sunny and Silver till you could feed them.My youngest are 11 and 12 they now feed and water them on their own about 75% of the time and very little hassel the rest.It has to be with a parents help but learnig responsibility with a living animal that plays and licks is very re-enforcing.Don't pick up the room just leads to upset mom don't give your dog fresh water and the dog can get sick--very re-enforcing.We only get pets through C.A.P.S. We arenot breeding so we don't need papers and they are fixed before they are allowed to come home.My kind of a pet an it pet.

    Answer by drfink at 3:35 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • My mom wasn't a dog person either until they got my sister a dog. (Really they just got her from my aunt after she moved) She now loves the dog and is the first to play with her. A dog is a major responsibility though, and she needs to understand that. What are you expecting her to do to prove she is responsible?

    Answer by LolosMom at 12:32 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • Clean up her messes and not have to be asked to do things any more than three times. Her father doesn't care one way or another about getting a dog but he works a lot and also travels for work a lot!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • i think you should get one but make sure it one you like just in case

    Answer by mirit.rose at 12:37 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • Blah okay. I'll suck it up, I'll just make sure I have a lot of influence over what breed we get and such. The only thing her father said was that the dog had to be adopted, not bought from a breeder.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:38 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • I think you should get a dog. But, I also agree with it being her responsibility. She is plenty old enough to take care of it. WITH NO BACKTALK.
    If she objects tell her this. I expect my kids to do all the housework as well as take care of the cats, dogs and chickens. Tell her how lucky she is. My kids even do my laundry. I help and supervise.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:40 AM on Aug. 8, 2009


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:41 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • Thank you anon 9:40. Maybe I should give a little more background, he has his daughter (11) and son (9) from his previous marriage with his late wife, and I have a son who is also 9. Together we have a son who turns 1 on the 25th of this month. But now that I think about it a dog probably isn't a bad idea, and I'm sure my step son and son will enjoy it too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:44 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • I say just because she is throwing a fit doesnt mean she should get a dog. Her mother passed a few years ago doesnt mean she needs to be raised without disapline. My Child would NOT get the dog for being mean to me

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:05 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • I agree with the PP. If she throws a fit just b/c she isn't getting her way it kinda proves she may not be responsible enough to care for the dog and you will prob get stuck doing it. It sounds like you have alot going on and I would hold off-esp since you aren't getting full support from good old hubby there. BOTH of you need to sit her down and explain what is expected of her (that way you don't look like the bad guy). Make a list of age appropriate chores. Explain to her that if she is able to do them without whining and throwing a fit, then you will reconsider the dog. Remember, a dog is a big responsibility. It has to be walked, fed, groomed, taken to the vet, cleaned up after etc....but it can also be a loving fun addition to your family....maybe have her volunteer at a local dog shelter so she sees what's involved. Seriously, if she is being mean and disrespectful then you need to nip that now-with your hubby's support.

    Answer by connorsmom1970 at 2:10 AM on Aug. 8, 2009