I ask because I am a child of adoption. My bio mom left me on my adoptive parents doorstep at 8 months of age. My bio mom knew my adoptive mom as being a kindergarten teacher that worked at a local school for many years and thought she would be a good mom and just left me on their doorstep late one evening in 1977. I knew all about adoption by the age of 8!
Answer by randi1978 at 2:51 AM on Aug. 8, 2009
Answer by Dom123123 at 1:40 AM on Aug. 8, 2009
Answer by truthteller0722 at 1:54 AM on Aug. 8, 2009
Wow! Today that couldn't happen. Not the not telling....but the staying with the couple who your birthmother left you with. Today the child would be taken into protective custody and the child would go to live in a foster home. More likely than not, if that family who "found" you is not licensed as a foster family, they could not adopt you. You have an incredibly amazing story. Your adoptive parents didn't have the same level of information, adoption education and support that there is today. I have friends who were born in the 70's who are adoptees and think it is odd that a child grows up knowing their birthparents. Abnormal. I had a woman director of a child development center tell me it wasn't healthy to have a child know his birthparents or history....she knew b/c she adopted her daughter (who was adopted in the 70's). At a certain point thinking changed.Â
Answer by frogdawg at 6:48 AM on Aug. 8, 2009
It is hard for those that came before us to view adoption as something to openly talk about and discuss. I think it changed for several reasons: birthmothers are more assertive in maintaining contact and more assertive in the adoption planning process. I know that the social work movement advocated for more openness in relationships between adoptive parents and birthparents for the psychosocial well being of the adoptee. We also place greater emphasis on knowing our medical history and family medical history today than we did decades ago (thanks to the human genome project). "Telling" a child isn't such an issue for many children and parents today. Many children don't remember a time not knowing. Perhaps there will be those who want to keep it secret - but I wouldn't propose that to be healthy.
Answer by frogdawg at 6:54 AM on Aug. 8, 2009
Answer by aztripsmom at 8:20 AM on Aug. 8, 2009
Answer by milmiracle at 8:37 AM on Aug. 8, 2009
Answer by ZoeyBethsMomma at 9:06 AM on Aug. 8, 2009
Answer by doodlebopfan at 9:38 AM on Aug. 8, 2009
Answer by doodlebopfan at 12:03 PM on Aug. 8, 2009