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MIL troubles PIOG

ok so because we live in an area that doesn't have the best schools, hubby and I have decided to home school. Now, when we chose to do this this we made a well thought out, informed decision and his mother thought it would be for the best too, or so it seemed. The other day my MIL saw that I had my hands full with my newborn and she asks "how do you think you are gonna be able to handle homeschooling the boys with a new baby in the house?" and I explained to her my plans. Then she hit me with an all time favorite "well what about them making friends and socializing?" ....then I said "well my concern is their education, they can make friends anywhere" Realizing that she wasn't getting anywhere she quickly vented about the fact that she didn't like the thought of me home schooling and then dropped it. So today hubby comes home and sees me trying to get the baby to sleep and says to me- continued in replies

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:49 AM on Aug. 8, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (5)
  • cont.. "how do you think you are gonna be able to handle homeschooling the boys with a new baby in the house?" and Im thinking ok well it could be a coincidence... and I say well what do you mean? and he starts saying all of the things she was saying, come to find out- since she couldn't get me to come over to her side and sign my boys up into public school she decided to go to my husband and tell him all of these things and got him believing her! I am so mad at her and him- her from not taking the hint that I have this under control and him for the fact that he was all for it for the past 2 and a half months when we started talking about homeschooling, now all of the sudden hes agreeing with his mom so how can I tell her as politely as possible to leave us alone about our decision and also to stop saying negative things about it in front of the kids so that they wont get a negative start to the upcoming year?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:50 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • First, your husband may be worried about YOU, your MIL is probably not. So, they they are saying the same thing, he probably means well. I'd make some time to sit down and talk, going back to the reasons you are homeschooling, and ensuring him that you are wanting to take this challenge.
    apexmommy

    Answer by apexmommy at 7:08 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • You do have some problems. But not from MIL, from your husband. She can say or think anything she wants. The point is your husband is your partner and the two of you are supposed to be on the same page. Your MIL may always challenge your ideas and that really isn't an issue. Having your husband talk about your children with her that leaves you as the one not seeming capable, regardless of what the situation is, that is unacceptable. Have him read this thread. Print out some responses by cut and paste. Look, maybe there might be an issue of time and practicality but the way in which it now will appear is that MIL has contol and say so over your family decisions and the boys well being. If this were me I would discuss with my husband that from now on this is the way it goes: when your mother has a concern you nod her head, tell her you appreciate the concern, and that you and your wife have talked about it and made a
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 7:12 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • decision as parents. It doesn't matter what the concern or issue is. Be a broken record. He is to tell her that he is not the one who can make decisions all by himself. Those children have a mother and she has equal say. Period. Not to be discussed again. Just be a broken record. A polite record but he will keep telling her he discusses his children's well being with his wife first and foremost before anyone else. Your husband has to decide if he is married to you or to his mother. He has to decide who is he having sex with (Mom or you), who is he a partner to (Mom or you), and who has say in his children's well bieng (Mom or you). There is no three way here. So tell him to choose now who he is a confidant and partner to. Oh, and it is not cool for any man to discuss his marital and family issues with his mom.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 7:17 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

  • Join the Happy Homeschoolers group on CM - they are wonderful ladies & have lots of advice for situations just like this.
    DrJChappell

    Answer by DrJChappell at 9:14 AM on Aug. 8, 2009

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